Intersect
by Annie-Eliza
Summary: As Justin makes his way through the crowd in Herald Square, he sees a man who is almost a stranger to him now.
1. 34th and 7th

A/N: No beta until chapter 8. Present day, post 5x13, somewhat of a kid!fic but won't completely focus on her. Brian and Justin are no longer together in this universe at the moment. I actually started this as a one-shot that was supposed to end bittersweet, open-ended, and with Justin and Brian just becoming friends again. As I wrote it, it occurred to me that it is not going to be ending up that way. If they don't end up together by the end of this story, then they will end up together in the sequel. However, this story will center around the rebuilding of a friendship between Brian and Justin and their ability to find love with other people.

* * *

><p>Justin sees him for the first time in seven years on December 21, 2014.<p>

To be more accurate, it has been seven years and one month to the day. He can't remember the hours and minutes offhand. He isn't a lovesick teenager anymore. But if he is being completely honest with himself, he could probably figure it out if he thought really hard about it. Then again, if he was going to go ahead and be completely honest with himself anyway, he also knows he didn't want to think that hard about November 21, 2007 and the dates in between when it came to Brian Kinney.

He had thought, hoped, he would see him again one day. After the angry words filled with hidden accusations and pain thrown between them during a snowfall that had come too early became less painful to think about, he wanted to call. However, while the gang always thought Brian was the stubborn one in their dynamic, little did they know that Justin could easily match him on that front. It wasn't until May of the next year that he even thought that maybe he should be the first one to make contact with Brian again, or any of his extended family back in Pittsburgh for that matter.

The only people from back home he had kept in contact with within those six months were Daphne, Molly, and his mother. And of course they didn't tell him anything about Brian because he avoided asking about him. Not that they knew that much, since they only saw Brian occasionally. He decided to reach out to Emmett first. Emmett, of course, started berating him for not calling or answering his calls and then cried with happiness due to finally hearing from him again. Then he started acting nervous and overly talkative, even for Emmett. When Justin mentioned he was going to take the first step and call Brian and apologize for what happened, he knew it was too late.

_"Sweetie, don't get me wrong, I think it is a good thing that you are willing to patch things up now that you have gotten your head out of your ass. But Justin…he's been seeing someone."_

_"So, he's seeing the same trick more than once then? It isn't like I am with him anymore. I'm not going to have a problem with that, especially with what happened."_

_"It's more than that. He told us he has been with him for three months. He brought him to dinner. Which is honestly a complete surprise for multiple reasons because we hadn't seen much of him since you were last here and voila! He comes in last week with his new beau and tells us all about how they met. And Teddy was the only one out of all of us who knew about it, which hurts because he knows I wouldn't tell anyone ever-"_

And, on that fateful day in May of 2008, he learned about Eric Davisson. The new eligible gay bachelor of Pittsburgh who, at 32 years old and approximately 5'11", was lean yet muscular and had olive skin, black curly hair, beautiful green eyes, and a kind and gorgeous smile. He was a genius and innovative architect who was designing the building for a gay and lesbian youth center that Brian was funding and was surprisingly very passionate about. According to Emmett, they met and hit it off. And then they kept hitting it off on a regular basis.

It hadn't been his intention to even start things back up with Brian. At least not immediately. But he couldn't help but feel betrayed and heartbroken by Brian moving on, and so soon after they had broken up. He knew he should have done more. He knew he should have taken Brian seriously when he brought up expanding Kinnetik to New York and the two of them getting a bigger apartment together. In all honesty, New York had become a new and exciting place for him to explore, become independent in, and a place to meet new people. He hadn't been pining for Brian like he was when he first moved up and was homesick. He should have taken Brian seriously when he told Justin he didn't want to trick anymore because it didn't make him feel happy, it just reminded him how lonely he was.

And what did Justin do? He pulled a fucking Michael and dismissed it by telling Brian he was just going through something and he would get back to normal. And he kept doing that because it was easier to leave Brian in Pittsburgh with their "no lock on our doors" rule and convince himself that Brian was okay with that since he is the one that enforced the rule in the first place. That made the fact that the man he loved had stayed a changed man and was unhappy easier to ignore. And Brian eventually got to the point where he stopped hiding it. It was just little things first. He started calling less for a while, then he started calling more "just to hear Justin's voice." He would get a bit more openly upset when Justin postponed a visit or told Brian that it wasn't a good weekend for him to come up to New York. One sign that should have raised an alarm was when they fought over the phone and two days later he received two dozen fake roses in the mail because Brian knew that Justin developed an allergy to real ones.

So it shouldn't have been a surprise when Brian lost it the day before Thanksgiving. It had been building up, he gets that now. It is only when years have already passed that he gets that Brian was changing because he wanted and needed to change for himself, not only because he felt the whiplash from the pressure put on him by his friends to grow up one second and stay the one constant in their lives the next. He also gets that Brian felt hurt when he called off the wedding due to the quick changes in Brian's personality. But he also thought that Brian felt relief to stay a free man. And he can also admit to himself that, in his early 20s, he wasn't really ready to settle down right then. He just wanted it to be guaranteed that it would eventually happen one day with the love of his life and he thought that was Brian.

But seven years ago, he thought he was doing Brian a favor by giving him the space and freedom he used to thrive on and trying to redirect any returning thoughts Brian may have when it came to monogamy. Some of the gang felt the same, at least Michael, Lindsay, and Debbie did. Emmett had hinted to him that Brian wasn't tricking nearly as much as he used to and even Ted had called to let him know that Brian seemed a bit depressed and asked when he was coming for his next visit. Soon, they both knew they were wanting different things yet again but the situation was completely switched around.

Brian was the one to kick him out though. That was one recurring event that stayed pretty constant. They had sucked and fucked to the days leading up to it, as per usual. But that night Brian sat him down and said he wanted to get Justin out of the sublet room he was currently residing in and get them a bigger place in New York. He wanted expand Kinnetik and have an office in Manhattan. He went as far as getting the rings he kept out and Justin was stupid enough to say he didn't want Brian to go against who he really was and that monogamy and marriage weren't important. He expected Brian to feel relieved at that. He wasn't.

_"Brian, I've been trying to tell you not to worry about changing for me. You know I love you how you are. Please sit-"_

_"I haven't changed for you, Justin. I want this. I thought you wanted this. Why won't anyone believe me when I say I want this?"_

_"Brian, I'm sorry. Look, we can talk about it. I just don't get what changed."_

_"I changed, Justin. I didn't plan for it to happen, but it did. Jesus, I changed because of you, not for you. I want to be with you. I miss you when you aren't here and no one takes me seriously and then they just dismiss what I am saying when I bring up any fucking feelings I have over this and I am sick of it. No one in fucking Pittsburgh can see that I don't even want to be the stud of Liberty Avenue anymore and that I haven't been since before you left. And when I finally wanted to commit to you, you back out and I understand that because you are doing so well in New York and you deserve to get noticed and you need to establish yourself but I am willing to move there to be with you and even though this is the most I have ever probably said at once in my entire life, you don't get it! No one fucking gets it!"_

And Justin tried to reason with him. He did. But Brian eventually pulled out the truth that he, Justin Taylor, was not ready for any sort of commitment after all and that while he would love for Brian to come up to New York, he still wanted to explore his options and fuck around. He even would prefer to stay with his roommate for a little while longer. And he thought that if Brian knew that he still did love him and wanted him there, even if Justin himself wasn't ready to take that step yet, Brian would cool down and realize that the long distance thing got to him and eventually he would realize that he didn't want to take that step either. That wasn't the correct assumption. Just like that, the argument stopped. Brian stared at him with a flushed face and Justin could swear with tears in his eyes, and then ended things with a, "It doesn't matter if I become everything you ask for. We are not on the same page. No matter what we want, we never were and never will be. Get out." and threw Justin's duffle bag out into the hallway.

And that fucking hurt. It hurt a lot. And he missed Brian and he wanted him to call but he never did. And only when he worked up the courage to even think about calling Brian himself, he found out that it was in fact possible for Brian Kinney to willingly and enthusiastically move on and commit to someone.

He never ran into him in Pittsburgh. He barely ever went back to visit anyway. Soon, there became no reason to. His sister went to college at WVU and just accepted a job in Morgantown. Daphne met a guy her junior year of college and moved with him to Philadelphia after graduating. His mother and Tucker moved up to Connecticut to be closer to Justin's grandparents. Michael and Ben eventually moved to Toronto to be closer to the girls and JR. Not so surprisingly, Debbie didn't last more than a year in Pittsburgh without her son, so she and Carl put the house up for sale and bought a place up there as well. Emmett eventually got back with Drew and Drew signed with the New York Giants and finished up his football career with them. They got a nice town house in Hoboken, so he saw Emmett pretty regularly and he had even catered a couple of gallery showings Justin had attended. Justin and Ted were never that close and Ted had become close friends with Brian anyway, but he was still with Blake and still working at Kinnetik. According to Emmett, Brian had made Ted and Cynthia partners a few years after Justin had moved to New York. The last big piece of news he had really heard about Brian was that he had expanded Kinnetik to Chicago over three years ago and moved up there with Eric and their newborn daughter. The little news he had received about Brian over the years had shocked him less and less as time had passed.

Eventually, instead of feeling shocked and heartbroken, he felt surprised and even happy for him even though those emotions were conflicting with the bit of longing and sadness he still held in his heart. Despite that, he was glad Brian seemed to find some sort of happiness with someone who couldn't automatically judge him due to who he was before. And he can't feel bitter about that, because Justin had mostly moved on as well. He had a string of fuck buddies and boyfriends throughout the years but he eventually met Nathan who has been with for almost two years. He formed a small group of friends up here and started to keep in touch with Emmett, Debbie, and even Michael and Ben again. His work was selling well in various galleries not only in New York, but in other parts of the country as well and he was happy with his life.

"Justin?"

Justin jerked himself out of his thoughts. He looked up to see a tall man with a bundled up little girl on his shoulders and he realized Brian had spotted him and had made his way over to him.

"...Hey, Brian."

There was a long pause and they just looked at each other. He looked different. A bit older. He had a short beard that looked like it may have a couple of grey hairs in it and a little bit of crinkling around his eyes. He was still beautiful.

"Aren't New Yorkers supposed to avoid Macy's at all cost?"

"I like the displays they have for Christmas and haven't gotten around to seeing it yet. That doesn't explain you. Why aren't you on 5th Avenue shopping instead?"

"Macy's is much more fascinating to a three year old than the stores on 5th Avenue."

The little girl on Brian's shoulders started to pull at his hair and chanted,

"Daddy, Santa."

"We'll see, baby."

Brian leans in and quietly says to Justin, "There is no way I am waiting in that line. She saw Santa in Chicago. She will forget about it once she looks at the window displays, I'm hoping."

Justin nods, not sure what to say to this Brian. Brian smiles at him and introduces him to his daughter, Lily. She looks down at Justin excitedly, gives an exaggerated hand wave, and yells, "Hello, Justin!" and goes back to looking at what she can see from her father's shoulders.

"Want to walk with us to the other side of the building?"

The few minutes it takes to get to the displays are a little awkward. He asks about Gus, who Brian says is in his first year of high school (and doesn't that just make him feel old) and has his first girlfriend, whom he is crazy over. Lindsay is managing a gallery in Toronto, which he knew about, and Melanie was finally able to start her own practice last month, which is great considering the rocky start she had while gaining the right to practice law in Canada. He is working up the courage to inquire about Eric, when they hit the crowd of the people who are looking at the windows of Macy's, mesmerized.

One window created a wonderland of flawless crystallized ice that shined with hues of blue, white, silver, and gold. Other windows displayed small moving sets that depicted complex and dreamlike images that appealed to people of all ages. When he finally stopped himself from looking at the displays, he looked over at Brian.

"Look at that one over there, Lily! Do you see them dancing?"

"Look at that one, daddy! It looks like Frozen! Where's Olaf?"

"I don't know what either of those things are."

"Daddy! You do know! You know all the words to-"

"Lily, look! Rudolph!"

Brian stopped and snuck a glance at Justin and Justin glanced right back at him and smirked. Brian mirrored his expression back to him and reached into his pocket to look at his phone.

"Lily, we're gonna go meet Papa down the street and go eat."

"But, I'm looking-"

"Lily, we can come back later, I promise."

Lily seemed to consider it and then agreed. Then she looked at Brian and said, "You inviting Justin to meet Papa too?"

Brian looked put on the spot for several seconds and looked at Justin as though he were asking him a silent question. Justin was about to put him out of his misery and tell him he had to get going but then Brian asked,

"Are you hungry?"

Justin wasn't expecting that. He was about to say no, that he had already eaten a shitty hotdog off the street, but thanks. But he was curious. He was curious about the man Brian was raising a child with and had built this life with. He also was genuinely hungry because his body never was able to say no to the prospect of food, even after he got over puberty.

"I'm never not. That is something that hasn't changed."

Brian grinned and said, "You always did eat everything in my fridge."

"Like that was hard. All you usually had was leftover Thai and guava juice."

"I like grape Juicy Juice the best." Lily exclaimed proudly.

"That is a wonderful choice, Lily," Justin told her.

"So, you're coming with us?"

"...Yes."

Brian had a blank expression and nodded, then reached into his pocket and texted something. He waited for a minute longer and his phone lit up. He read the message, looked up at Justin, and said, "Let's get going then."


	2. E Houston and Essex

_"Apartment hunting in New York is not as interesting as I thought it was going to be."_ Eric thought to himself, as he stepped out of the brick building on Houston St.

He thought it would be easier since they had a larger budget than many couples, but they were looking to buy and both he and Brian were going to be pickier about it. It had been Brian who had covered a couple of places in the Upper East and West Sides yesterday and Eric had taken Lily to see the Lion King. They were going to a place in the West Village that was just advertised a few hours ago tomorrow morning. In all honesty, they should have seen them together to begin with, but there were so many things going on for young children due to the holidays and they wanted to Lily to get acquainted with all the city had to offer, since she was uncomfortable about leaving Chicago. It also made it so they didn't have to carry her around and wear her out by putting her through adult things just a few days after moving their stuff into the sublet apartment they were living in. So it was his turn to see the apartments today. This one in Soho, one in Tribeca, and two in the Financial District, one in Tribeca. They were all fine and very Brian with their sleek modern look and open floor plans (except the bedrooms because they both learned quickly that a small child can be a real cock blocker) but he didn't feel right about any of them and neither did Brian, despite being pretty adamant about wanting to stay in Manhattan.

When he gets the contract and designs a building or a house for a client, he is known for modern floor plans, bold colors, angled ceilings, and the works. They are similar to the downtown apartments he viewed. But he wanted something a tiny bit more traditional for Lily. They didn't need a suburban home or anything, but a foyer would be nice. More separation in between the rooms and having an apartment they could actually move around in and have their own space in would be a plus too. Brian of all people knew that Lily was, endearingly, a hyper little shit. In Chicago, he found her on top of the island in the kitchen hanging off the pots and pans above the stovetop. Brian tried to hide it, but he was livid. "What if she managed to turn one of the burners on and she just let herself hang over the fire and burn slowly?" he had said, "It would have been a nightmare." And there hadn't been a stool or chair in sight. Eric himself doesn't know how that is even possible. She still won't tell them how she did it. But while Eric thinks having a bigger room, more space to play in, and moving into anything other than a large studio may be good for Lily, Brian thinks she will manage to sneak out of sight and jump out a 12th story window.

He wasn't under any illusions that a bigger place would keep her out of trouble and keep her from breaking stuff. She was a three year old, or three and a half, as she insists on everyone knowing. But he wanted a place they could build a real home in. Both of them were doing quite well. Brian was spending more than he had in a while, due to buying out a floor on Madison Ave for Kinnetik to expand in, but they had met when both of them were quite established within their careers already and finances had never been a problem for the two of them in the last six and a half years they had known each other. Things on pretty much all fronts had been good. Brian, as frustrating as he can be sometimes, was a wonderful partner to him and a doting father to Lily and Gus.

Eric knew right from the beginning that he had been lucky when he came to Pittsburgh to design and oversee the construction of The Gay and Lesbian Youth Center of Pittsburgh. He was contacted by Brian by email with praise on his previous work and a passionate explanation on what he wanted to do. He wanted a place for teenagers who identified as LGBT or even just questioning to have a place to go where they could feel safe and not judged. He wanted counseling services for the kids so that they could become more confident and for parents who were struggling to grip with their child's identity, regular healthy and substantial meals for visitors to have, rooms for teens who had been kicked out to stay in until they work things out for them, tutoring services in case they had missed school due to bullying or being on the streets, extracurricular classes to encourage the kids in their talents and interests, an entertainment room and a small library so they could socialize and get books out to read. Eric had struggled with his sexuality throughout his childhood and even into his twenties and he wishes there had been a place like this for him seek refuge in.

When he finally did get a boyfriend at 25 and let his parents know, it can be said that they were not happy about it and his relationship with most of his family has been cordial and distant at best ever since. He had experimented a few times with men after he moved to D.C. for school but only committed to the occasional woman, until Joshua. They didn't have too much in common, but he had dated Joshua for over a year. Then he found out he was cheating on him with a married woman. That had just confused him because Joshua's flame burned pretty bright. But when his sister let that slip to his parents, they pleaded with him to get over this phase because Joshua obviously had and if someone like Joshua could, then why couldn't he? So the idea of a place that actively helped teenagers meet other people their age like themselves and tried to work with their families into being more accepting really made him want to work on this with Brian. He moved down for what was supposed to be for four months. Things with Brian started up in the first six weeks within meeting and he stayed for three years before they expanded Kinnetik.

Eric thinks he has given Brian and Lily enough time and he is honestly starting to feel his stomach rumbling at this point. He gets out his phone and texts Brian:

**Hey! Went to see the apts.  
><strong>**All looked nice but idk about buying.  
><strong>**Still think we should look in  
><strong>**Brooklyn Heights and Cobble Hill.  
><strong>**Neither of us are too far from Chelsea  
><strong>**Want meet in the middle and go to that  
><strong>**sandwich place for lunch?**

Eric waited for a minute and received a text back.

**Yeah, that sounds good.  
>Be there soon. I love you.<strong>

It wasn't as though Brian had never said the words before. He had several times, but it was rare enough that it always put a stupid grin on Eric's face and gave him a fluttering feeling in his stomach. He was about to text back an, "I love you too 3" but his phone vibrated again with another text from Brian.

**Ran into Justin. Lily invited my ex-fiance to lunch  
><strong>**so he could meet my current one. You.  
><strong>

And then his phone buzzed again.

**You can top tonight if you want.**

At least he gave him that nice sentiment.

Eric knew Brian had only one other actual boyfriend before him. He knew that Brian had fallen hard for the young man, even though it went against his no repeats rule he had in his 20s. He also knew that had gotten his heart broken just a couple months before he met him and Brian had given him whiplash when it came to wanting to go out and spend time together one minute and pushing him away the next in the early stages of their relationship. He knew that his first love was an artist doing quite well for himself and he knew that Brian had bought one of his paintings anonymously after they moved to Chicago. He didn't complain about it. He understood that Brian needed something to remember him by and he could even admit the painting was fantastic. He felt some light jealousy but kept it to himself. And when he agreed with Brian that Kinnetik needed to expand to Manhattan, he was too worried about uprooting Lily and his own career (it is daunting to build in a city that is already taken up its space with buildings) to really focus on that he even knew Justin Taylor lived in New York as well. He just hadn't expected to be meeting him so soon.

So as Eric looked down at his phone and tried to sort out what he felt when he thought about who Justin Taylor was to his fiancé, he typed out a message and flagged down a cab.

**Can't wait.**


	3. 18th and 6th

As Brian got Lily off of his shoulders and onto his hip, he put his hand up to hail one of the many cabs passing by. It wasn't too terribly far and he could walk if he wanted to but his kid had been out in the cold for a while and he wanted to get her warm sooner rather than later. He told Justin just that. Justin. Brian doesn't know exactly what was going through his head when he just asked him to lunch instead of attempting to give him an out. He knows that Justin hadn't completely left his head and his heart in the first place, so seeing him there and seeing how beautiful he still was made all of his rationality go out the window for a minute.

"You are still rational enough to not give into any urges you may have." Brian thought to himself firmly.

A cab pulled over to the curb. He got Lily settled in, then slid in and got her on his lap. He scooted over so Justin could get in next to them.

"Where to?" the driver asked the men as he got back into the lane.

"Not far. Just to The Telegraphe Cafe on 6th Ave and 18th Street." Brian replied.

As they drove along the streets of New York, Lily was going on and on about what she wanted to get to eat.

"Daddy, I want spaghetti."

"Lily, they don't have spaghetti."

"I bet Papa wants spaghetti."

"I bet he doesn't."

"I bet he does."

"How about a grilled cheese sandwich instead? You can share some soup with me too."

Lily thought it over and came to the decision that this was acceptable. Then, she looked over at Justin.

"Sorry, Jus'n. No spaghetti. You like grilled cheese?"

"I love grilled cheese. I don't know if I will get it today but they are always yummy."

Lily quiets down after that and starts playing with her dad's hand. Brian tickles her a little and then glances over at Justin and decides to break the silence.

"She is a bit tired today. She has had a couple of busy days going to plays and museums and going shopping for new clothes. She is really smart for her age and has a big vocabulary. Usually she talks so fast that you can't keep up with her and is running around once her feet touch the ground. She keeps us on our toes."

"She seems like a great kid, Brian. How long are you all visiting New York for?"

"Actually...we are moving here. Kinnetik has been doing so well in Pittsburgh and Chicago and we have collected a lot of high-profile New York clients despite not having a location in the city. So, it was time to physically have an office here. Eric was actually looking at some apartments this morning. We are subletting a place until we find a place we love enough to buy. We are going to start looking together tomorrow but wanted Lily to have fun these first couple of days. She is still uneasy about moving so we wanted her to enjoy her time in the city when she got here."

Before Justin can respond, the cab pulls over by their destination. Brian pays the driver, telling Justin, "Please, it is like $11 bucks. Put your wallet back in your pocket." Justin tried to tip but Brian gave the driver a twenty dollar bill and told him to keep the change. Brian walked with Lily and Justin to the entrance of the cafe. The place was small and casual. Only a few people were there. Eric stood up, walked over, and kneeled down as Brian put their daughter down on the floor. Lily squealed and yelled, "Papa!" Her voice vibrated with the heavy steps she took as she ran to Eric with so much excitement that would make an onlooker believe that she hadn't seen him in weeks, rather than just seeing him last night before she went to bed. Eric took her into his arms, hugged her, then picked her up.

"What did you do with Daddy today, Silly Lily?" Eric asked her set her on his hip and carried her back to the table as Brian and Justin followed while Lily talked.

"We went to bunches of places, Papa! We went to a Disney Store spent lots of time in there! Daddy got me a BEAUTIFUL dress that looks just like Rapunzel's! He said it looked tacky but I say it is the best dress ever and he must have thought so too but didn't wanna say 'cause he bought it for me anyway and I thanked him a lot. Then, we went to Macy's and looked at windows. That sounds boring but it was really fun."

"I'm glad you had fun, baby." Eric grinned over at Brian and Justin and extended his hand towards Justin. "Sorry about not introducing myself as soon as I saw you. Lily tends to talk a lot. You must be Justin. I'm Eric. It's nice to meet you."

Justin accepted the handshake and smiled back at him. "I am Justin. It's nice to meet you too. Thanks for being okay with me coming along."

"We met him on the street, so Daddy and I invited him." Lily told him as Eric laughed at her explanation.

"It's no problem. Lily and Brian are certainly hard to say no to."

They all sat down at the table, the waitress took their order, and they started making small talk about how things were on the trip over and how they were enjoying the city so far. Lily told Justin about The Lion King and how much she loved it. Justin told her he loved it so much that he had seen it twice. It wasn't long until they got their food and they started to eat.

"So which neighborhood are you in right now? If you don't mind me asking." Justin inquired as he put his spoon down.

Eric wiped his mouth with his napkin and waved his hand to imply he didn't mind.

"Right now we are in the lower part of the Upper East Side. It's a temporary place but it is okay for right now. It is definitely small but it is a two bedroom and the living room is big enough to have a Christmas tree up for Lily. But Brian and I are looking for something bigger. I think he is leaning toward the Upper West Side or the West Village but I am leaning towards Brooklyn. Prices are going up but Brooklyn Heights, Dumbo, and Cobble Hill aren't far from the city plus there are townhouses and larger apartments available in those areas that are lower in price than some of the studios in the village."

"I'm not against another borough, I just would like to be close to the office."

"But think of the space and even the potential view we could have! If we do Brooklyn Heights or Cobble Hill, there are a couple of places not far from Court St and that has the 4 and 5 train, the 2 and 3, the N, Q, R and the A and C aren't far either. Plus there are more built in garages so you could have a place to put your car without worrying about street cleaning and tickets."

Brian let out an exaggerated put upon sigh.

"Fine. We can look in Brooklyn."

"Ha ha! I knew I could persuade you." Eric said as he gave Brian a kiss on his cheek.

Brian looked over at Justin, squinted his eyes, and asked, "Out of those three neighborhoods, which one is the most Stepfordy of the bunch?

Justin snorted, "I don't know, Brian. Maybe Brooklyn Heights. Brooklyn has become more desirable to live in than Manhattan in the last couple of years. Larger living space for lower prices and more apartment availability. Dumbo is slightly more industrial but, while convenient enough, not as convenient as Brooklyn Heights. Cobble Hill might be a little less ritzy and expensive than the Heights but not by much. If you want more space and are willing to spend more, I would go with Brooklyn Heights or Cobble Hill. Yeah, there are a lot of families there, but it is really pretty, I've heard they have good schools, and most people in the city in general mostly keep to themselves so you don't have to worry TOO much about regularly getting invited to community get togethers.

"Brian would hate for that to happen. He once took personal offense to the couple who lived in the apartment below ours in Chicago because they gave us a casserole to welcome us to the neighborhood."

"They also brought Lily the most hideous onesie I have ever seen. If that woman's taste in clothing was that bad, then her cooking probably wasn't much better." Brian huffed in defiance.

"Babe, that doesn't even make sense."

"That honestly doesn't surprise me. He once scared off a Christian fundraising group that kept coming to the loft hoping for a donation for a new playground by answering the door wearing absolutely nothing." Justin revealed.

Then Eric and Justin started laughing at Brian's expense and Brian felt like he had entered some sort of weird dimension where his ex and his fiancé laughing together was completely acceptable. He looked down at Lily to see if she had noticed that the two of them had fallen into some strange universe and that it was her and her daddy against the world. But Lily didn't pay any mind to possibly being lost within some sort of warped black hole. She only paid attention to tearing up her grilled cheese into a bunch of little pieces.

"Eat your food." he told her.

"I _will_. I'm just fixing it first." she insisted, as though tearing it up would make it taste so much better. Usually there wasn't much of a point to argue her logic.

"So Justin, what part of the city are you living in?" Eric asked him after their laughter died down.

"I'm in SoHo right now, but moving to Williamsburg in February once my lease is up." Justin told them.

"I just looked in SoHo today. It is a great area. The apartment was mostly an open floor plan though."

"Yeah, that is how mine is. There are some bigger ones if you want to pay a completely outrageous price but the majority of living spaces in SoHo are lofts. I love it but I own a gallery in Williamsburg plus Nathan is living over there so we are looking for a one bedroom." Justin explained.

Of course the first thing Brian wanted to do was start asking questions about Nathan, like what Nathan did. Was he an artist? Was he in another field? Was he better than he was? But Brian held his tongue and instead asked Justin, "So you own a gallery now? That's great!"

"Yeah, I bought a three story building that used to be an auto-repair shop. It had two apartments over it so I just made some renovations, put in some stairs and a service elevator in between floors and it has been doing pretty well. I get a lot of local street artists to show their stuff there as well as some students at several of the colleges." Justin informed them.

"That sounds really great! One of my favorite parts of the city is that the artists will paint or draw in public for the whole world to see. It is great to hear that someone is taking interest in their work. Brian and I will have to stop by sometime, won't we Brian?" Eric said to him. Brian found the whole situation to be so bizarre that it took him a second to nod and say, "Sure."

He felt a nudge and looked down at his kid sneaking his bowl away to finish the broth at the bottom of his soup.

"Hey," he said quietly.

Lily slurped and took the bowl away from her face. "Yes?"

"Does anything feel off to you?"

Lily giggled, leaned into her father, "You are so funny, daddy."

He had to teach his kid to be more observant.

But he couldn't blame her. She obviously had gotten it from Eric who was completely oblivious that his partner was sitting here confused to all hell while he spoke and laughed with Justin. And Justin didn't seem to notice how awkward the situation was either. He must have a type. Justin and Eric looked nothing alike, but neither of them had any clue at all whatsoever.

Finally, the check came and Justin insisted that he pay for all of them. Justin left the waitress a good tip and they all headed outside of the restaurant to part ways.

"Eric, it was so nice meeting you. Let me know if either of you need any help with anything when you find a place. Here is my card. Feel free to stop at the gallery any time."

"Will do, Justin. It was nice meeting you. I'm sure we will see each other again soon enough."

Lily had a hold of Brian's hand as she looked up at Justin and exclaimed, "Bye Justin!"

"Bye, Lily! It was nice meeting you!"

Justin looked back up at Brian and quietly said, "Goodbye, Brian."

Brian just nodded said, "Bye, Justin." then watched Justin wrap his scarf around his neck and walk away. Then he looked at Eric, forced a smile, and said,

"Lily needs a nap. Let's head home."


	4. N 8th and Bedford

Justin usually didn't go and actively work in his gallery on the weekends, but he needed to get his mind off of the surprise of that afternoon. He was actually pretty lucky they had stopped at that place for lunch, since the L train was only four blocks away and that meant he didn't have to transfer trains like he would have from Herald Square or his apartment. So he walked down to 14th street and caught the L. He got off after a few stops and walked the two blocks to the Bedford Art Gallery. He walked inside and saw his intern, Lola (who seems to have changed her hair from a royal purple to a shade of lavender,) doing inventory and Max getting a few new pieces in for the show on New Year's Eve.

"Hey Justin," Lola called out, without looking away from the laptop.

"Hey, Lola. Your hair looks good. What are you doing here so early? You usually don't come in until 3 on Sundays."

"Nothing else better to do. What about you? Couldn't get Nathan away from his muse?"

"Calling Arm & Hammer Baking Soda anyone's muse seems to be a bit odd, don't you think?" Justin asked her in amusement.

"Well, you have to be pretty passionate to write a song about them. Or be getting paid a pretty decent sum of money."

"Pretty sure it is the second one." Justin laughed, "I talked to him last night and he was working on it. I will probably stop over later to see how he is doing."

"Hey, at least his band has that gig next Saturday at The Dram Shop, right?"

"Yeah, I think he will feel better that he is getting work in what he actually wants to do."

"Well, I'll be there."

Justin thanked her for it and went back to his office. He closed the door and threw himself in the office chair. Brian. After all this time, he ran into Brian. What were the fucking odds of that? That he would run into Brian, just three days after they moved to the city? He didn't know how he felt about it. And he didn't know how Brian had felt about it either. It had been weird, to say the least. Brian barely contributed to the conversation once they met up with Eric. In fact, Justin had spent most of the time talking to Eric.

He hadn't been expecting to actually like Eric. He never knew much about him other than what some of the gang had told him in passing throughout the years when they talked on the phone. He did look him up on Facebook a few weeks after Lily would have been born out of curiosity. He even remembers what his profile picture looked like. It was a close up of Eric and his little family. Brian had Lily in his arms, eyes filled with love, and Eric was leaning over, smiling, and stroking his baby's face. Justin remembers how heavy his heart had felt. He knew Brian had entered a serious relationship but it was then when it had hit him how much he had probably hurt Brian by going back on what he had previously said he had wanted. He could look at that picture and see how happy he was, how happy both of them were, and how much he must have wanted this. Justin remembered feeling happy for Brian because he could see how happy the man was but he also felt as though his heart had been ripped out just a little because, even though over three years had passed since they had broken up at that point, there was a small part of him thinking, "That could have been me." Justin saw how they moved so well with each other and how much Lily loved both of her dads.

"Just take your mind off of it. Think of Nathan." Justin said to himself as he rubbed his temples.

Justin loved Nathan, believe it or not. Not like he had loved Brian, but he still loved him. He had some negative qualities, like getting too emotional about rejection and taking things very personally in a multitude of ways, whether getting upset about someone not caring for a song he wrote or seeing that goddamn Sarah Mclachlan commercial. But he was filled with life. He was a good listener and did manage to enthusiastically encourage Justin's already established career when he hit an artist's block even though his music career was still just developing.

Nathan, about eight years his junior, was not like Brian on the surface. Some people did a double take when they found out he and Justin were together. He didn't know why, exactly. Well, they dressed a little differently and, despite both being in a creative field, their interests differed when it came to several things. And Nathan tended not to be the most grounded person when it came to his emotions. He had no problem showing them, since he did have occasional queen outs over the fate of his career and being afraid that he would write commercial jingles for the rest of his life when he wanted his band to succeed. Justin felt for him because the band was actually very good. Nathan didn't need the constant praise the Ethan "the genius" had though.

He had seen Nathan's band perform a few times at small music festivals and bars, that's how he met Nathan in the first place. But, if you put them in a genre, it would probably be punk rock in style with more of a glam rock sound. But the record labels now were focused on EDM and indie folk music. So Nathan had been especially moody about that the last few months. Justin tried to remind him that he was lucky to get so many offers on the jingle thing, because it did pay pretty well but Nathan was adamant that it was rotting away any talent he might have.  
>Justin sighed. He should probably call him. He was upset last night and didn't go over only at Nathan's insistence. Justin pulled out his cell and dialed Nathan's number.<p>

"Hello?" Nathan answered.

"Hey, it's me. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Fine. Arm & Hammer will be pleased that I sacrificed any artistic integrity I have left for their consumerism."

Well, at least he isn't crying like last night.

"I am sure it sounds great and you will give them a completely new image."

"Why the fuck do they need a jingle? Everyone already knows Arm & Hammer. Most people buy their fucking baking soda anyway! Why can't they just stop shoving it down our throats?"

"Hey, Nathan? Nathan. How about you come over to the gallery and give me a hand with things? Get your mind off it. Just remember that you finished it and you are getting paid."

"Yeah, yeah. Why are you over there? It's Sunday."

"I had nothing else better to do. Come on, I wanna see you."

"Alright, I will be there in about a half hour. I have to shower first."

"That's fine. See you soon."

Justin hung up and went out to help Max with some of the paintings that they were bringing in. He recognized one of the paintings as Aisha's. They had come across a twelve year old girl who lived in Brownsville. She would have put his younger self to shame. She came from a low income area and she and her three siblings were being raised by her grandmother. For the past year and a half, she would take the train after school or in the morning on the summers and weekends to Central Park and paint there. She offered to do portraits, painted the scenery, painted something from her imagination. She was just trying to bring in a little money back to her family to help out. He ended up finding her one day about six months ago and she had told him she did this because she was too young to get hired anywhere and didn't want to do the things her older brother had done because he was dead now. That statement had startled him to say the least, so he had given her his contact information and had spoken with her grandmother. He sent her art supplies, canvases, some money for the work that she would do outside of school and checked on her progress every week. She had managed to make fourteen paintings. She was going to get one of the main rooms of the ground floor to herself and get to share a show with three other people. If he had doubted his decision before, he no longer did when she had thrown herself at him and thanked him profusely with tears streaming down her face.

"So Justin, how has your weekend been going?" Max asked him as they each carried a painting out of the van.

"It's been...going. How has yours been?"

"Alright. I don't know if Lola told you, but she made a couple of big sales an hour or so before you came in." Max said with his voice filled with pride.

"That's awesome. I will give her the commission money from it."

"Yeah, I just thought you should know that she is doing a good job."

Max had been working for him since May, after he graduated college in Art History. He was a sweet guy with a round face and thick glasses. He was sort of awkward and nervous and would babble when he got overwhelmed but he was very meticulous about the paintings and Justin genuinely liked the guy. Lola started her year long internship in September. It would take someone who was deaf and blind to not be able to realize that Max was head over heels when it came to Lola. He thought about asking Max why he hadn't asked her out yet, but he figured it wasn't his place as their supervisor.

About half an hour passed and Nathan came in. He seemed to be in an okay mood as he came over to Justin and kissed the living daylights out of him, then started kissing his jaw.

"Missed you." Nathan purred into his ear.

"You saw me two days ago."

"Still missed you. Let's go into your office."

"Nathan, I want to help them with the paintings first."

"Fine. After though, I want you to fuck me ov-"

"Nathan. Employee and intern in the next room."

"Whatever. What do you need help with?"

"Just help me sort some paintings and decide on where to put what. We aren't actually moving anything today but I want the paintings and sculptures we have to get designated places before Christmas."

So he and Nathan got to work and decided where to put what. And Nathan put up with Justin's over-analyzing of what should go where for the best lighting and exposure like he usually did and after a few hours they had gotten the majority of work completed. Nathan had suggested Justin go with him grocery shopping so they could make dinner together. While that went okay, making dinner had happened much later since Nathan literally had his clothes off as soon as he went through the door and Justin was fucking him against the kitchen table. Eventually, dinner did get made and they did sit down to eat. Justin was quiet until Nathan spoke up.

"Why are you so weird today?"

Justin didn't register the question.

"Justin."

Justin looked away from his plate and at Nathan.

"Huh?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Oh. Nothing."

"Liar. You have been quiet all day. You were more or less going through the motions while you were fucking me. What is wrong?"

"Don't worry about it, Nathan. I'm just feeling weird. Probably coming down with a cold or something."

"Is it something I did?"

"No."

"I know that I have been sort of mopey and I whine about the commercial stuff, but that is just me venting. Tell me if I ever bother you with it."

"You aren't bothering me. It is nothing, I assure you."

Justin got up to wash his plate in the sink. He felt arms come around him and settle on his stomach, and lips on his shoulder.

"Love you, Justin," Nathan mumbled into his shoulder, "More than I have ever loved anyone."

Justin touched one of his hands, brought it up to his mouth, and kissed it. If he didn't speak, then he didn't have to lie.


	5. 67th and Park

Lily fell asleep on the cab ride home, so there was a reason not to bring anything up quite just yet. She had her head on Eric's chest as she puffed out soft breaths onto his neck. So he could pretend that this was why Brian was barely saying a word as on the 40-odd block drive to their apartment.

He had been surprised to say the least that he had actually gotten along with Justin. It wasn't like he was expecting a downright brawl over Brian with them scratching each other's eyes out. But he hadn't expected to talk about living in New York or each other's careers and especially not about their respective experiences with their mutual acquaintance, Brian Kinney. But they had. He had found that he had respected Justin. He would go as far as to say he sort of liked him so far. But Brian more or less had sat there and occasionally chatted with Lily. It was times like those where he wanted to remind his fiancé to keep his people skills in check a little better. But he understood that it was probably awkward for Brian, to say the least.

The cab approached their building and they paid the driver. They rushed into the entrance to get inside away from the cold and took the elevator up to their floor. Brian got his keys out of his pocket and opened the door for Eric and Lily. Eric walked past him to put Lily down in her bed. He took off her coat, shoes, hat, and scarf, then tucked her in. After she was settled, he quietly shut the door to her bedroom and turned to Brian.

"So…" Eric started.

"What was that about?" Brian blurted out.

"What was what about?"

"You know what I am talking about. With Justin and the whole, 'Oh, Justin! I am sure we will see each other very soon! We can even stop by the gallery tomorrow!'" Brian mocked as he kicked off his shoes and collapsed onto the couch.

"I think we remember things differently."

"Whatever, I was paraphrasing."

"I was trying to be nice to him. He was respectful to me and I owed him the same courtesy," Eric explained, "He seems very nice and I don't know many people in this city yet outside of a few potential clients, so I wanted to make conversation."

"…What, you want to be friends with him?"

"I am not aiming for that necessarily, but I am not completely against it. I was also trying to make up for your lack of conversational skills. You are the one who brought him to lunch and then you didn't really say much and left the conversation up to us. It would have been awkward if we had just sat there."

"Yeah…about that. I was just…"

"Weirded out? Uncomfortable?"

"Pretty much. Sorry."

"I get it, Brian. I know it had to have been weird for you. I do know you. I know what you felt for him and that he will always hold a big place in your heart…I just hope that if we see him again or start seeing him on a regular basis that I don't have to worry about my place in it too much?"

Brian sat up to look at Eric who, for the first time in years, looked a little insecure when it came to Brian's feelings for him. Brian hated seeing that look on his face. Brian got up and crossed the room to Eric. He pulled him in for a deep kiss and put his arms around him. Even though he had opened up more in the last several years due having both Justin and Eric in his life, he still hated saying the stuff he was about to say. But the truth needed to be put out there and he wouldn't begrudge Eric of it.

"Of course you don't have to worry. I live with _you_. I share a daughter with _you_. I love _you_. Justin may have been the first person I have ever fallen for but not the only person. You, Lily, and Gus are the three most important people in my life. Okay?"

"I know. You too."

Brian started to kiss him again and gently directed him to their bedroom. Eric unbuttoned Brian's shirt and kissed his chest and collar bone as he slid it off. After the rest of their clothes were discarded, they fell back onto the bed. Eric managed to get Brian onto his back and plant kisses down his torso to his pelvis. He took Brian's cock in his mouth and did every trick he knew worked on his lover to make him moan and pant with need. When he brought Brian close to release he stopped and traveled back up his body to kiss him again.

"Hmmph, wha?" Brian started to say through the kiss.

"You said something when you texted me today that intrigued me."

Brian looked confused for a moment and thought back to earlier. He rolled his eyes and huffed out a laugh, then looked at Eric.

"Well…get to it then."

"Are you giving into more of your primal urges in your advanced years, old man?"

"Please. You are NOT that far behind me and you are still my good little bottom 75% percent of the time."

"I think it is more like 70%"

"Says you. Are you wanting me to change my mind?"

Eric laughed and planted kisses all over his partner's face, then looked into Brian's eyes, and said, "I want to see you when I am inside of you."

Brian looked nervous for a moment, then looked back into his eyes and nodded. He spread his legs so Eric could settle himself in between them and felt Eric's lubed fingers at his entrance. Brian gasped when Eric touched his prostate and moaned when his lover finally entered him. As Eric increased his speed, Brian wrapped his legs tighter around Eric, pushed back towards his thrusts, and rolled his hips for the maximum amount of pleasure. As Eric came inside of him and brought Brian to completion as well, he did something he hadn't had to do in a while and tried to get Justin's face out of his head.


	6. Liberty and Church

Contrary to the former popular belief, Brian Kinney was able to find love. Yes, he found it with Justin. But he had also found it with Eric. He remembered Mikey and Ted seeming to wait for him to crash after he broke up with Justin for good. They had expected him to return to his wicked ways and make flyers for Orgy Loft Night featuring your favorite ingestible letters of the alphabet. But that (surprisingly, he might give them that) hadn't happened. The first month he did use fucking as a coping mechanism, yes, but they were mostly call boys that looked like Justin and probably pitied him when they let him hold them. He knew how fucking pathetic he had been. It hadn't been like that last time because, as much as he still wanted Justin, he actually wanted to move on as well.

It hurt that most of his friends couldn't see that he had changed, but it was a stab to the heart that Justin couldn't see what he wanted until he drove the point home and basically got an, "I'm not interested right now" in return. But his previous methods weren't working this time around. He briefly wondered if he should see a therapist but he had too much pride for that, so no thanks. Plus, people broke up all the time. The only difference with this time around with Justin is that he knew deep down it was for good. So that was when he, Brian Kinney, would do what the average heartbroken person did as a lonely single thirty-something who wanted more out of life than a quick fuck. Rebound. He asked a few guys from Babylon out, but they kept asking him when they were going back to the loft to fuck and that they appreciated being taken out to a four star Italian restaurant but carbs wouldn't do a thing for their figure. Brian knew he would have to try something else.

He doesn't know how his friends did not find out about him going to a gay singles mixer. God that had been so fucking embarrassing. He felt like he morphed into Ted Schmidt as soon as he walked into the room. Then he pushed himself and cruised the ones who were good looking yet approachable. He knew he had fucked the majority of them already. He saw them look into his direction and whisper to each other. He just had to avoid the ones who did that then and that was good because it made him focus on more viable options. He tried making small talk with a few people but eventually someone would bring up something along the lines of, "So is this your first time cruising for a fuck in a place like this?" There had been one man. He even remembered his name Evan…something. He remembered his first name. But they had a good conversation. He found him to be passionate and interesting. Evan was a doctor who worked at Allegheny General. He took his job several months earlier after he finished his time with Doctors without Borders. Brian remembered being engrossed In Evan's history and his passion for his career. He also was a good looking man. So Brian did something he hadn't done in, well…ever: Asked someone out on a date. Without knowing how good they were in bed first. He worked up the courage and asked if Evan would like to have dinner with him that coming Friday. Evan looked uneasy and Brian had gotten this response:

"Brian, you are an interesting guy and seem very nice. You actually seem pretty perfect. I appreciate you asking. However, the stories I've heard about you since I have moved here, while impressive, aren't what I am looking for in a partner. I am sorry. Oh, what do you know? My friend is right over there! It was nice talking to you."

So after that embarrassing night, Brian Kinney became convinced that he wouldn't find anyone. Ever. For the first time in his life he wished that he had been more discreet about his stud status. Queening out ever so slightly by figuring there was no point in trying anymore, Brian threw himself into his work like he had never before and started being a regular at Babylon again. He hadn't gone back on drugs though and only kept weed and alcohol in the mix. He doesn't know why he didn't start taking them again after he kicked Justin out of his life but for some reason he didn't want to keep them around anymore. He sent Justin to work on being the biggest success he could be and he wanted to do the same.

He signed more accounts within two months than he had in the past six months (and the number within those six months was admirable.) The money Kinnetik was making was absolutely incredible. He gave all of his junior ad executives and Ted a nice raise and gave Cynthia a promotion to become an ad executive as well. He knows he should have done it before, but she was his favorite (and most well-paid) assistant he ever had and he knew no one would live up to her. He himself also had a lot of money on his hands, especially with the money he saved up for an apartment and a New York branch not being spent. Ted, who didn't even know he kept every cent of his New York savings, suggested he treat himself to a vacation since he had been working non-stop but he didn't want time on his hands to think about a certain someone right now. Ted got the hint and suggested another car or club. He didn't need another car or a fucking dance club right now. When had Ted become the shallow one? So, he created a $30,000 scholarship for college students in need who were not receiving any financial assistance from their parents. He also made a few traveling grants that let a deserving art student in Pennsylvania and each of its bordering states go to Europe for a summer to study their craft. But considering the money Brian had, he wanted to do something more substantial. It wasn't until he heard about Corey Price, who lived in a small town in West Virginia about 45 minutes outside of Pittsburgh.

He usually didn't feel much but a slight twinge of sadness for a gay kid who got the short end of the stick (with the exception of one certain teenager. He still feels enraged over what happened to him.) But for some reason Corey Price's death had struck home. Not being the most conspicuous of gay teens, Corey put shame on his mother and enraged his new step-father, who was the coach of the football team. Corey must have been a brave and stupid little shit, coming out at the age of 15 to everyone. He stood up for a couple of the gay and lesbian seniors at his high school and demanded respect. Everyone in their town knew. The kid got harassed non-stop. One day he came home after studying at a friend's house and there was Coach Burless and six of his finest players there in the garage waiting for him. He tried to run but was caught quickly. His step-father wanted to "teach him a lesson." That lesson included over fifty kicks to his stomach and head. He died on the concrete floor due to blunt force trauma and internal bleeding.

The students were all under eighteen and more or less just got a slap on the wrist with small juvie and community service sentences. His step-father only got eight years in prison, eligible for parole in three, since he never actually kicked his step-son, only let it happen. Brian remembers reading about it and feeling absolutely disgusted by the story. He wished that Corey could have gotten away from his family and that life. He knew what it was like having hateful parents and they hadn't even known he was gay until he was an adult. All of the sudden, he wanted these teens to have a place to go in case things got too rough. He wanted them to have every chance at life and to be encouraged by someone who cared about whether they lived or died. So he got to work. He planned out what he would have at this place that abused, runaway, or just lonely teens of the LGBTQ community to turn to. They would even welcome straight teenagers, because although aimed at the struggles of being gay, he knew that abusive bastard parents and extreme bullying existed in every community. He wanted this center to be huge and give opportunities that Pittsburgh may not have much of yet. He started contacting the people he needed to contact, got permissions and grants from the city, the Department of Child Welfare, the Department of Education, PIFA, Pittsburgh Institute of Technology. He contacted various college professors, retired teachers, nurses, counselors, cooks, artists and musicians interested in giving lessons, basically anyone that might be interested in committing some time once this place was up and running.

Of course it needed to be built. He wanted it to be beautiful and welcoming. He wanted a desirable place for people to turn their heads at. Brian knew he needed to find the best person for the job who could see the full potential of what this center could become. So he did his research and came across Eric Davisson. From what he could tell, Eric was five years younger than he was yet he had already taken home the Pritzker Prize as well as collecting a number of other awards. He was incredibly attractive, in a sweet and cute sort of way. From a few of the interviews he could find, the guy seemed open-minded and approachable, but there was no denying his talent and genius. Adding all of that up, plus the fact that he made Brian's gaydar ping a little, he knew he had to have him for this project. So he wrote him an email with his plan and who had committed to it. They talked on the phone and negotiated, then Eric said he would come in that coming Monday to meet him at Kinnetik. Brian arranged for a car to pick him up, paid for a ticket, and paid for his sublet.

The first time he met Eric was memorable. And not for the old reason of "little did he know, he would be meeting the father of his child." Sure, he supposes that was part of it, looking back. But it was when Cynthia let herself in, confused and strangely amused, then exclaimed, "Brian! My first boyfriend is here to see you. You finally get to meet the man I gave a hand job underneath the gym bleachers." After getting a little surprised over the possibility that she might be talking about the architect he was meeting today, Brian made some quip along the lines of, "If he is your ex, then you must not have been very good. Cynthia, I'm shocked." He followed her out into the lobby and met Eric face to face.

From then on they worked side by side at a constant rate. He found his confidence and knowledge in what he was doing inspiring and he just liked being around Eric in general. Within a few days, he did subtly get out of him the affirmative statement, "Yes, Brian, I am gay. Cynthia was the beginning of my relatively long string of denial." And Brian felt relief at that. He wondered why at first, but assumed that it was due to him just having more gay friends by a large margin. He hadn't had a real conversation or relationship with a straight man outside of business and Carl in years. Over the next couple of weeks, he started to tell Eric more and more about his friends and family, his past, even what he wanted to be when he was six years old. He even told him a little bit about breaking up with Justin for the last time when they had a little bit too much to drink one night several hours after everyone went home. In turn, he heard about Eric's life, his asshole parents, that he would like a family one day, and that his first boyfriend cheated on him with a married woman. Brian tried not to laugh at that but it was a hard feat. He is sure it was upsetting at the time.

It took another week to realize that he wasn't over Justin, but he was also feeling something significant for Eric. He found the best part of his day to be when they were working and talking together. He felt butterflies when they went out to eat after hours of planning and getting together a construction team. He knew it was two colleagues, maybe friends, that were just taking a break together, but he found himself wanting it to be more than that since Eric was starting to sneak into the last thoughts he had before he fell asleep each night when usually he only thought of Justin. He didn't know how to go about it though. He didn't know if Eric was the type of man who would only want to fuck around for a while since his career made him sort of a drifter or if he wanted monogamy or if he was interested in someone else in another city. He felt like he needed to know more because all he knew was that Eric didn't have a partner in his life at the moment.

They had been working late again. They actually had a slight argument earlier that night about how utterly controlling and picky Brian was and that he was a total perfectionist. It might have been Brian's imagination, but Eric looked almost fond when he spoke of those qualities. He ended up apologizing for putting stress on Eric's design and Eric looked pensive, then looked at him.

"Brian, what you were doing wasn't a bad thing. I got defensive and I was tired. I know why you are wanting to spend extra time on the design."

"Because I am controlling, picky, and a total perfectionist?"

"Yeah, sort of. But it is more than that. You want this to work, and not for yourself. You want to give these kids a chance to prosper, to meet other kids and adults like themselves, and to know that people care about them, in a way that our parents didn't care for us. You want them to open up their eyes in wonder every time they walk in and hope they will know that they can be someone beautiful. That they can be big fucking successes AND be gay, yet there will still be people who love them for it unconditionally. So yeah, you are going to be controlling, picky, and a total perfectionist. But you are more than that. You told me once that you were considered the heartless stud of Pittsburgh. I have even heard it in passing on my maybe two nights out since coming here. But I have yet to see that side of you. I met a man who cares about his city, despite it being Pittsburgh. A man who loves his son and gets a huge grin on his face when he talks to him on the phone or talks about him. A man who is putting a lot of money, time, and effort into something that he hopes gives some people a little bit of happiness. The man I know is a man whom I consider to be one of the most honest, giving, and passionate men I have ever met."

Brian remembered feeling a little overwhelmed because he felt like someone had finally listened to him and hadn't immediately assumed the worst. Someone who wasn't using the word "asshole" or "prick" or "heartless bastard" to describe him. Before he knew it, he found himself doing something that he hadn't done with anyone besides Justin in years. He was kissing Eric, with every bit of tenderness and passion he was feeling and Eric was kissing him right back with just as much fervor. Before he knew it, they were taking off each other's clothes. Brian ended up having what was the closest he had come to making love since he had been with Justin. He found himself smiling at Eric as they lay there on the floor afterwards. Then, he gathered the courage to ask the one thing he thought about asking for about a week now.

"So…you want to go out to dinner and a movie on Friday? I am a proper gentleman and I want to take this slow."

He remembers Eric laughing and looking at him, his eyes bright with amusement.

"Only if you fuck me into the floor again. And pay."

They didn't move all that slowly. They were having sleepovers a few times a week and spending at least five evenings a week together working and taking very productive breaks after most of the employees of Kinnetik went home for the night. Sometimes Eric would come by during office hours as well. So after a few weeks, he knew he probably should tell at least a couple of people who regularly saw him and Eric together that they were seeing each other. He let Cynthia know first. He didn't want her to walk into his office with her high school boyfriend bent over his desk without any kind of warning. So he sat her down.

"Cynthia, I have something to tell you."

"Yeah, Brian?"

"I-…I don't exactly know how to say this."

"Are you fucking Eric?"

"…Yes, but-"

"But it is more than that. It isn't that shocking. You have been spending most of your time together and ignoring your friends' calls most of the time as well. I've seen how you have been looking at him. It reminds me of-never mind. I am happy for both of you. And surprised you waited almost a month before doing anything with him. That is like eight months in gay time. Gay male time that is. I'm not close with any lesbians, so I wouldn't know about them. I should broaden my horizons."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked back to her desk, with the sassy clack of her heels sounding against the floor.

Besides Cynthia, Ted was the only other person he told that day. Ted didn't have psychic premonitions over his love life like Cynthia revealed she had, so he was forced to talk about his _feelings_.

"Brian? You wanted to see me?"

"Sit down, Theodore."

…

"I'm sitting, Brian."

"Right."

"Brian, is everything alright?"

"Yes. Things are fine."

"Okay. I am just concerned. Ever since-never mind-you have worked yourself so hard and I know Michael is your best friend but I feel like we have become very close since working together. You are one of my dearest friends and I just want you to be happy."

"Theodore, I am the one who brought you in to talk."

"Right. Sorry."

"…You are one of my closest friends too."

"Well, I appreciate that a lot, even though it looks like you are going to burst a vessel."

"Ted! Are you listening?"

"I'm listening."

"Good. Because you are the only one I am telling about this, besides Cynthia. And I am only saying it once. If you tell anyone at all before I am ready for it to be known, I will rip out your intestines and shove you off a balcony."

"Oooh, this must be juicy."

"Theodore, please give me your word. I am only telling you because it might slip in the office since he will be here a lot anyway."

"He? Brian-"

"Eric and I have been seeing each other. I…feel something for him."

…

"Why do you look so shocked?"

"What about Justin?"

"What do you mean, what about Justin?"

"I thought you might, I don't know, patch things up."

"We weren't eye to eye on a lot of things."

"I haven't really talked to him at all since he left. I know he wanted monogamy and marriage before and you were never-"

"You're wrong. It turned out he was the one that didn't want to take that step, Ted."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"But he said yes to marrying you before and if he knew you still-"

"Ted! I don't want to talk about him."

"I'm sorry, Brian."

"Whatever."

….

"Eric is a great guy. I can tell you both really like each other."

"Yeah. I like him a lot."

"Hey, that's good! I'm happy for you. I promise I won't say anything, Brian. And if any of the gang gives you any shit, I'll side with you, so don't worry about that."

"…Thanks, Theodore."

It took him a total of three months of being with Eric to introduce him to his makeshift family. Eric had signed a year lease on an apartment about six weeks before. He was extending his stay in Pittsburgh to see the completion of the center and, Brian would like to think, because they had started something. The gang, surprisingly, didn't find out about his relationship until he told them at dinner while Mel and Lindsay were in to visit with the kids. He introduced him professionally as "the great architect he enlisted to help him with The Gay and Lesbian Youth Center" during dinner and didn't introduce Eric as his boyfriend until Gus went into the other room to play with JR. Gus was still missing Justin and he didn't want to upset him by being with someone else. He remembers the silence at the table and all their faces filled with blank shock when he had exaggeratedly cleared his throat and announced,

"If I can have everyone's attention, please. While it is true that Eric and I have been working together on the center and overseeing the construction of it together, we have also been seeing each other for about three months now. Before you all get outraged that I kept my personal business **personal**, I wanted to wait until I felt a little more secure about it. So…I would like everyone to meet Eric….my boyfriend."

When no one said a word and Brian saw Ted mouthing and gesturing some shit that was probably supposed to be comforting, Emmett started to clap and squeal then grabbed Eric's hand.

"Oh, Eric! It is so nice to meet you! Your hands feel so nice, what kind of lotion do you use? Sweetie, you just know that any lover of Brian's is a-Brian stop looking at me like that, I am just trying to be friendly!"

Then the exclamations and remarks came.

"Why would you try to keep him hidden away, you little asshole? Look at him! He's gorgeous!"

"Brian, why wouldn't you tell me? I'm your best friend! Ted, why don't you look surprised by this news? What do you mean you have known about it for almost two months?"

"Michael, calm down. I am absolutely sure Brian had very logical reasons for keeping this to mostly to himself for a while. Eric, sometime we should discuss how architecture has changed over the course of the centuries and how modern buildings reflect the visions of our ancestors from long ago. What do you think about the architectural designs in Tibet?"

"Good luck with Kinney, Eric. He is definitely a piece of work to say the least."

"Why, Brian! This is quite a piece of news to throw on all of us! And so soon after Justin."

This went on and on until Brian finally cleared his throat and glared at all of them. They all reverted back into their silence.

"Would you all please just shut up?"

He turned his head to Eric, gave a small smile, and held his hand. He turned back at his family.

"I know you are all surprised. I get that you don't see me as the type of man who is meant to be tied down to someone or even the type of man who someone would even think about being with long-term."

"Brian, we never meant-"

"Come on, Brian, you know-"

"We are just surprised, Bri-"

Brian holds up his hand to silence them again.

"You all know I wasn't at my happiest for a while. I know you were concerned, and I appreciate that. So you should also know that Eric here has made my life a lot easier since then. He makes me happy too.

Everyone at the table was staring at him in shock, yet again. Finally, they gave him their approval.

"Oh honey, you know I would never disapprove of your new cute beau!"

"Brian, I am so glad you are happy, you little shit."

"I was just surprised about it, Brian. I have just been worried about you for a while. I want you to be happy. You are my best friend."

"We would love to have you both over, Brian."

"Good for you, Kinney."

"Brian, don't get me wrong, I am happy if you are, but you are sort of a bit," Lindsay let out a huff of laughter, "_wild_, don't you think? You have always been the type to refuse to be saddled and ridden."

Eric looked at Lindsey and tilted his head.

"Who says I'm saddling him? We aren't into pony play."

Brian looked at him with a big grin on his face and made the decision to knock all of their socks off.

"And he does not only ride me. We take turns."

He stood Eric up and kissed him (he added some extra tongue for effect) and then turned to his friends, who all were failing to pick their jaws up off the floor.

"Well everyone, we must be off. Got to get JR a birthday present for Sunday and Lindsey, I want to take Gus out tomorrow. Explain things and make sure he is okay with Eric. Later."

Despite his feelings for Eric only getting stronger as time passed, it was hard for the first year or so. By the time their one year anniversary came along, the center was completed and Brian got all weird and distant when he thought Eric might want to leave. But then Eric sat him down and said that he wanted to move his office here. He fell in love with Pittsburgh and fell in love with Brian. The commitment and consideration put into the move relieved, flattered, and scared Brian. It was new for him that someone was willing pack up their lives to be with him, of all people. He felt conflicted about it all. Also, being with someone other than Justin sometimes got to him when the blonde popped up in his head during his dreams or when he saw a painting that looked similar to his style. He sometimes would backtrack and get weird about being just with one man.

Despite wanting to try monogamy, he found it a bit hard in that first year as well. Once in a while, they got with another couple or brought a trick home together, but he knew Eric, who enjoyed it enough, wasn't as into it as he was. Whenever he got into one of his dark moods or something bad happened, he always felt tempted. He remembered how much that had fucking scared him because he never wanted to make a promise he didn't end up keeping. When he and Eric had been together for about a year, he did actually slip up. His mother ended up in the hospital due to a heart attack, they didn't know if she was going to make it at the time, and his family felt comfortable asking him for money but also felt comfortable with fighting him for a house he didn't want nor was up for grabs yet and insulted him due to who he was at the same time. It wasn't anything they hadn't said before. But he had kept himself separated from his family ever since his bout with cancer and he forgot how much they could fuck with head.

So one night, he got extremely drunk and brought some nameless trick back home from Babylon. He was so out of it that he passed out and the guy stayed over. He would have confessed to Eric anyway, but he had walked up to the loft and found the guy pulling his pants on. It would have been better if Eric would have screamed at him or even took a swing at him. He remembers how he felt when he found out about the fiddler and he knows that if Eric feels anything close to what he felt for Justin then he probably feels gutted. Instead, he stands there looking at the ground as the trick leaves. Neither of them had said a word. Finally, Brian had finally broke the silence.

"Eric, I'm so fucking sorry."

"Why did you do it, Brian? I-I thought things were good. Did I…did I do something?" Eric's voice broke while a tear fell down his face that he quickly wiped away to hide the evidence. He cleared his throat, "I just don't get what happened."

"I don't know what happened. I fucked up."

"No, you fucked another guy, Brian!"

"I know that and I said I'm sorry."

Eric took deep breaths to gain control, then spoke.

"Brian, I have been cheated on before. Usually I would just leave them or we would just decide to be fuck buddies instead. But I never cared for any man the way I care about you. Yet again, that makes this hurt ten times more than any of their slip ups. But I want to try to work this out with you."

"You can't. I'm so fucked up."

Eric came over and put his hand on his arm.

"Come here. Sit down with me. What's going on?"

"Why the fuck are you being so understanding?"

"Because I love you. So much. You seem upset and I think you may have done this because something happened?"

Brian took a deep breath in and then out. "I don't talk about this shit."

"Just try."

Eric pulled him in and Brian put his head on his shoulder as they sat there together.

"My mother had a heart attack. She needs bypass surgery but they think her heart is too weak."

"I'm so sorry."

"I haven't seen her since I had cancer. That was when she told me that God gave me cancer because I'm a fag."

"What a bitch."

Brian snorted, "Yeah that's my mom. They just said some things that implied that I was the scum of the earth. They wanted money for the surgery. I wrote her a check but then Claire started getting on me about Mom not wanting a fag living in her house if she dies and that I better not fight her on it. As if I would want to live there. My mom saw that I was there and I tried to be nice to her, so I just told her hello and she said to me, 'Unless you have stopped turning your back on God, I want you out of my sight. I don't need the added grief.' So I left the hospital, went to Babylon, drank and took some E, then took that guy home. There was no talking or kissing or even exchanging names. Just fucking. And I'm sorry. I am so sorry if I hurt you. I hurt people that I love, that's what I do."

Brian was so distressed at this point that he didn't realize what he had said in his last sentence.

"I thought you were all about no apologies, no regrets."

"Well, I am changing my mind due to my previous actions."

"That's something."

They sat there in silence for another minute before Eric spoke again.

"Is that what you want? An open relationship? Are you wanting to hook up with other couples more or bring tricks home or have more threesomes? I just need to know, Brian. I can try to do that if that is something you feel that you want instead."

"I don't know. I want something more than tricks. Eventually I want…"

"What Justin wasn't able to give you yet?"

Brian shrugged.

"You know I want something like that as well, Brian. That's why I moved here, to try to be with you."

"I know. But I don't want you to-"

"Brian, shut up. I'm not regretting anything. I had only been in Boston finishing up a job when you contacted me. Yeah, a lot of tech companies are wanting their headquarters built in Palo Alto so I was technically living out there, but my colleagues I worked with are still out there and I put my name on enough places for people to reach out if they really wanted to. You did and I had never even built anything in Pennsylvania."

Brian didn't know what else to say to that so he sat there in Eric's arms and waited for him to speak again.

"I just want to know if you are willing to work this out too. Don't you know how much I care for you?"

Brian nodded, let out a shuddery sigh, and said, "I just need to work on some things. On me."

"Okay, what do you want to do?"

'Want to do' wasn't exactly the right phrase. He didn't want to do it at all.

"I think I should, I don't know…see someone. Like a therapist."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I saw a therapist a year or so after I graduated college. I told you it took me a while to admit I was gay. It actually really helped me open up more. Don't feel embarrassed about it, Brian."

It was at that point that Brian swallowed his pride and worked out his issues. Not only his issues with entering a monogamous relationship so quickly but also his issues he had after Justin. He went to see his therapist once and sometimes even twice a week for about eight months. Eric was very supportive throughout the whole thing and went to almost half the sessions so he could understand where Brian was coming from. Surprisingly, it had helped a lot. He came up with better coping mechanisms when he was distressed. He learned to be more open and assertive with what he was feeling to Eric and his friends. He learned to be more adamant when it came to dealing with Lindsey and Melanie. He wanted to see his son more and he wanted his son to know his partner better.

He also learned that he would always love Justin. That what they had shared was special and intense. But he didn't have to let the fact that the relationship fell apart keep him from not moving forward and forming just as a meaningful relationship with someone else. He thought about contacting Justin a few times, to see how he was doing or at least get some closure. But he didn't want to tempt himself with anything if Justin wanted to meet again. He didn't want to get upset if he found out that Justin had found someone else because that would be downright hypocritical of him. He realizes that he may have acted too harshly when it came to how he treated Justin when he kicked him out. He feels badly about it now. He knows that Justin is young and wanted to experience life a little more. Maybe if he ran into him by chance in Pittsburgh he could get some closure. He just couldn't initiate it.

Time passed and Brian realized that he and Eric had been together for two years. Things were going really well. Brian had signed a lot of companies in Chicago so they were thinking about expanding there in about a year or so. Eric got work everywhere but made sure to come home on the weekends when he did get work farther away, work from home when possible, and made sure not to get quite as involved as he did with the preparations of the center. His friends had come to accept that Brian had changed and, while he would never be a stepford husband, he was only sleeping with one man now. Justin was never completely out of his mind. Deep down he knew his love for that kid would never come close to fading, but he learned to love two people with the same amount of intensity. It might have been harder if Justin was around, but he hadn't seen or spoken with him for almost three years. He didn't like to focus on that time gap. It got him depressed. So he focused on Eric, his son, his friends, and on Kinnetik and the center (which was doing quite well and getting a lot of kids on the right track.)

Brian was the one who actually brought up having kids. He had become neutral to the idea of raising a child. Brian had Gus, and he was enough. But Eric didn't have any biological children. He didn't want Eric holding back any kind of urge to want to care for a child. So he asked Eric what he thought about it over dinner.

"Eric?"

"Yes, Brian?"

"I just wanted you to know that if there is something you want, all you have to do is tell me."

"What else would I want? I am actually very happy right now."

"I know, but if you felt something was, I don't know, missing from what you have."

"Just say it, Brian."

"Fine. Are you wanting kids?"

There was silence. Then Eric cleared his throat.

"Would that be something you would be interested in?"

"It isn't something I wouldn't be interested in."

"If I had children, I would want to raise them. Their mother could be an active part of their lives, sure, but I would want custody with my partner, not the birth mother. I would want my partner to be the child's father as well. Is that something that you wouldn't interested in?"

Brian hesitated but then looked back at all the conflicting feelings he had over his situation with Gus's mothers. Despite butting heads with Melanie pretty regularly, he actually had a lot of respect for the woman. He knew she loved her son with her whole heart and he knew Gus was happy. But a part of him wishes he would have fought harder to at least have him on a more regular basis when he was younger because he had yearned to be more of an influence in his life.

"I am still interested."

Eric gave him a big smile and they started talking about their options. Soon, he became excited at the prospect. Eric suggested they ask Cynthia to mother the child. Brian was dubious. Not because he didn't want her to mother a child he raised, why wouldn't he? She was pretty, driven, smart, and successful. But she never seemed like the type to procreate. It didn't hurt to ask though so they worked out how to present their idea to her. It must have worked because, while she didn't agree to carry the kid ("I will bloat like a whale and be put on bed rest, Brian!" but Brian also thought she refused to carry it to keep from getting too attached) she agreed to let them use one of her eggs. She insisted to be called Aunt Cynthia and that, as long as she saw that baby on holidays and got to visit them whenever she called in advance, she would be happy to be a part of this. They went through an agency to find a surrogate. It was there they found Holly. She was a 27 year old divorced mother of two kids and was taking classes online to make something more of herself. She had told the agency that she would prefer a gay couple since she knew there was still prejudice about the gay community and kids.

The months started to go by. All of their friends had been shocked by Brian Kinney, yet again, but they were incredibly happy for the couple. When Brian and Eric had gotten a bigger place together, the gang helped out with the nursery and brought them clothes, toys, and other supplies. Both Eric and Brian were active when it came to going to Holly's appointments. Even Cynthia went to a few. They visited her on a regular basis to bring her food, offer to watch her kids, and just to see how she was doing. Around the fifth month of Holly's pregnancy, they found out they were having a girl. Brian remembers how nervous he was. He didn't know how to deal with girls. He had already been nervous about raising a child that wasn't biologically his. He remembered the instant connection he had felt with Gus when he was born and Brian was afraid he wouldn't feel the same with their daughter. Eric seemed to sense his fears and told him that he knew what a big heart Brian had, despite him not showing it all of the time. Even on the chance he didn't feel an instant connection, his love for her would grow as he spent more time with her. That helped a little, but Brian was still nervous.

The day came when he got the call from Holly saying she was going into labor. Brian called Debbie and asked her to head over to Holly's to watch her kids as he and Eric drove over to pick her up. Brian and Eric both led Holly to their car and got to the hospital in record time. Eleven hours later, Lily Piper Davisson-Kinney was born. Brian had told Eric that Lily didn't need his last name because Davisson-Kinney was a total mouthful. But Eric had insisted because she was his daughter too. He watched Eric hold Lily, looking down at her with so much love and devotion in his eyes. He looked up at Brian, his eyes twinkling with pride and pure happiness, and asked,

"Brian, do you want to hold your daughter now?"

Brian felt hesitant but held his arms out to take the newborn. He prepared himself to not feel as much as Eric did. That he would look down and just see a baby whom he had no real connection to. He didn't prepare to look down and fall in love with this little and beautiful baby girl with a hint of Eric's black curls in his arms. He didn't expect to not be able to stop smiling. He didn't expect to cry tears of joy and to feel like someone so precious had been placed in his life. When he looked at Eric and gave him a watery grin and a warm and loving kiss, he also hadn't expected that he would wonder a little what it would be like if it were Justin in Eric's place instead.


	7. Driggs and Grand

"You gonna stay here tonight?"

Justin gratefully took his eyes off the movie. They were watching a disturbing French film about a woman who starts eating her own flesh because she gets a cut on her leg at a party. He didn't know why a relatively minor flesh wound would cause you to practice autosarcophagy, but to each their own. It wasn't really his kind of movie and by looking at Nathan's nauseated and freaked out expression, he didn't think it was his either. Sometimes random Netflix picks didn't work in their favor. Justin sighed and looked at the clock. It was about a quarter after ten. He hadn't really planned on staying over. He had a painting he needed to work on plus he felt like he needed to be alone. He thought going into the gallery and going to Nathan's might help him get his mind off today but it hadn't. Every time he let his mind wander, Brian was there. Nathan had known something was up. Usually he didn't push Justin too much to keep him company, but he kept being overly affectionate and let him know they could do whatever Justin wanted that night. He asked Justin if he wanted to go out for drinks or something, but Justin hadn't been in the mood to go out. That was why Nathan had said, "Let's watch a movie. Come on, it can be something we have never seen before. We will pick the first thing Netflix Roulette gives us. It'll be fun!"

So Netflix Roulette, in its infinite wisdom, had given them a movie that made Justin's mind want go elsewhere and made Nathan squirm and go, "OH MY GOD, WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO YOURSELF?! STOP IT! STOP IT!" If Justin didn't have his mind filled with other things, he would actually find it kind of funny. It was sort of ironic that Nathan could act all bad boy in his leather jacket and have a devil may care façade on stage but would let out high pitched whimpers when he watched someone cut their own skin off and eat it. Justin is sure that some rock stars have done worse.

"Justin? Are you staying here or not?" Nathan asked, who was now sitting up straight and wringing his hands.

"If you are really that freaked out, then fine."

Nathan let out a breath in relief and let his body fall back into the couch.

"Oh good. I'm glad you are staying." He sighed, then put his face into Justin's shoulder and whined as the main character got some skin stuck in her teeth.

"Nathan, why don't you just turn it off?"

"What do you mean? It's movie night. Why would we not finish the movie on movie night?"

"Because you are freaked to all hell. Come on, turn it off."

Nathan sighed, got the Roku remote off the coffee table, and pressed stop.

"I just want to spend time with you."

"You can have that without forcing yourself to watch a woman eat herself alive."

"Really?" Nathan looked at him with exaggeratedly wide and innocent eyes and Justin had to snort a little at that.

"Just this once."

"Well, I should take this one opportunity to do something really special then…watch Going Down in La-La Land."

"We have watched it four times already. It isn't even all that good."

"He's so cute, Justin. You know how cute he is. He is almost as cute as you."

"He's okay, I guess."

Nathan found the movie and put it on. When they were about fifteen minutes into it, Justin felt lips kissing the side of his neck and a hand traveling down to his denim-covered crotch. Justin sighed. His cock was starting to react, but he didn't really want to fuck right now.

"Nathan…"

"I know you have something on your mind and you won't tell me. I suppose I accept that. Just let me make you feel good, baby. Let me make you cum. Just close your eyes and relax."  
>Justin was growing harder so he closed his eyes and nodded. Nathan began to kiss his jaw and neck again and unzipped Justin's pants. He pulled his pants and underwear down below his waist and started to stoke Justin's cock.<p>

Justin tried to let his mind go blank as the pleasure started to build up. His attempts were hopeless. Brian's face was still in his mind, looming over him as Nathan whispered words Justin couldn't quite focus on and started to jerk Justin in quicker motions.

_"Now relax. I want you to always remember this, so that no matter who you're ever with, I'll always be there."_

Justin gasped and came all over Nathan's hand. As Justin caught his breath, he slowly opened his eyes. He felt a little guilty and looked over to Nathan to see if he sensed anything was off or if he might have, god forbid, moaned out someone else's name. But Nathan looked at him with a grin on his face and brought Justin in for a kiss.

"You feel better?" Nathan asked him as he got a tissue to wipe off his hand.

"Yeah. Thanks."

"No problem."

Justin started to feel tired and drifted off for a little bit. Before he knew it, Nathan helped him up with a, "Come on. Let's get you to bed" and walked him to the bathroom so he could brush his teeth. Justin sat down on the bed, then took off his jeans and shirt and got under the covers. He felt the bed dip beside him and felt an arm wrap around him.

"Goodnight, Justin."

"Night, Nathan."

* * *

><p>"Stop! Leave me alone! Get off of me!"<p>

Justin woke up with a start and saw the red numbers on the alarm clock telling him it was 5:22 AM. He felt Nathan struggling against the blankets and heard him crying out in his sleep.

"Nathan. Nathan! Wake up. Come on, baby, it's just a dream."

Nathan struggled against Justin and wailed. Justin stroked his back and got the top half of Nathan's body onto his lap so he could stroke his hair. Nathan's shouts turned into cries which eventually turned into whimpers. Then he heard him groan, "Justin…"

"It's okay. You're okay. You are past that now. No one is going to hurt you again, I promise, alright?"

Justin sat on the bed with his back against the headboard. He felt Nathan's tears drip onto his leg as he ran his fingers through his hair. Eventually, he felt Nathan fall back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Around 9 am, Justin woke up with a stiff neck and Nathan was still sound asleep. Slowly, he shifted Nathan off of him and put his clothes back on. He needed to get back to the apartment but he wasn't going to go until Nathan woke up. Justin sighed. Nathan's nightmares had become less and less frequent, at least on nights they slept together. Usually just once every couple of months. He had met Nathan years after what caused them had occurred. It broke his heart when he had to witness them but it broke his heart even more when Nathan withdrew and became guarded for as long as a couple of weeks when a nightmare or flashback happened on a night he wasn't there. He knew Nathan didn't blame him for not being there when things like this happened or anything. Nathan would just go into a bout of depression and not deal with it the right way.<p>

He decided to make him breakfast in bed. Justin was feeling bad about having other things on his mind yesterday. Nathan hadn't deserved for Justin to only be half there. Luckily, Justin had insisted Nathan buy actual food to work with so he made the two of them omelets with bacon, peppers, mushrooms, and cheese with some toast and orange juice on the side. He got a tray from underneath the sink and carried it to the bedroom. He put it down on top of the dresser and walked over to the bed. He crawled across it and stroked Nathan's face to gently wake him up.

"Hmmm?" Nathan grumbled as he frowned and stretched.

"It's 9:30."

Nathan shrugged and turned back over, then mumbled, "Early enough to sleep another hour."

"Come on, Nathan. I made you breakfast. Besides, I need to go back to the apartment soon to work on my painting. Eat with me."

Nathan let out a long breath.

"Sorry, I just feel like I didn't sleep very well last night."

"I know. But maybe eating something might make you feel better. You can take a nap in a bit if you are still tired."

Nathan slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked at him with a small and tired smile as Justin brought over the large tray. He let Nathan hold it as he went back around the bed to sit on top of the covers.

While he and Nathan ate, they just talked about any random things that passed through their heads. He didn't think that Nathan remembered waking up last night so he didn't say anything about it. Nathan usually avoided the topic anyway.

"So what day are you going up to Connecticut to see your mom for Christmas?"

For the past few years, Molly would get a ride from Morgantown to the Pittsburgh Airport and would stay in New York for a couple of days. They usually took a train up to Connecticut two days before Christmas to see his mother and Tucker for the holidays. She usually had gotten a month off while she was in college and she still got a nice sized break since she was teaching Science at an elementary school (which made Tucker swell his chest up with pride since she had been inspired to teach by him.) Last year, he had invited Nathan to come up with them, but he had refused. Nathan's parents had been dead for years and his memories of the holidays were not happy ones. He had gotten Justin a nice set of oil paints and a couple of canvases plus had written him and recorded a song. But he was not about actually celebrating Christmas at all.

"Actually, Molly, my mom, and Tucker are coming here this year. Molly is staying with me and Mom and Tucker are staying at Hotel Pennsylvania by Penn Station. We are going out to Hoboken later in the afternoon on Christmas day to eat dinner at Emmett's and Drew's.

"Oh. That'll be fun."

"Why don't you come, Nathan? Come on, it isn't that far out of the way. Emmett is a fantastic cook. He likes you and wants you there too."

"But New Jersey is really far."

"You KNOW it is a five minute train ride from Christopher St. I swear, you natives are so weird about Jersey."

"Yeah, but I'm in Williamsburg, so I have to make two transfers just to get to Christopher St."

Justin just stared at Nathan with an eyebrow raised. Nathan stared back at him, looked away, then started tapping the breakfast tray. Finally, he let out a sigh.

"Can you give me a day or so to think about it? I know I'm weird when it comes to things like this but I just don't know how to-"

"Nathan, I understand. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Give yourself a day. But I think you should know that you will probably have a good time."

Nathan nodded. "I will probably go. If you think Emmett has enough space."

"Nathan, it is a 3 million dollar townhouse. It has four bedrooms, a big kitchen, and a giant dining room with a table that can extend to fit probably almost 20 people. It's almost disgusting how well off they both are. I think he has enough space to have you over for dinner. He told me to invite you."

"Alright. I will let you know by tonight."

"Yeah, just call me. I need to get back to my apartment," Justin told him then hesitated, "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Call me if you need to talk to someone."

"I'll be fine."

Justin kissed him on the forehead and said he would see him later. He put the dishes in the sink before he left, walked out the door into the hallway, went down the stairs, and was in the cold air again. He began to walk back to Bedford so he could take the L and transfer to the N at 14th Street to take him back to his apartment.

The train ride went relatively quickly and he walked to Mercer Street and went up to his loft. As he let himself in, his phone started ringing. Thinking it might be Nathan possibly remembering more of his nightmare, he got his phone out quickly. He looked at the Caller ID and saw it was Emmett.

"Hey, Em."

"Hey, sweetie! How are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay. Just getting inside now, stayed the night at Nathan's. How is everything with you?"

"Oh, so-so. Drewsie is all upset over the playoffs and I keep telling him that it isn't his problem anymore but he gets all offended and says it will never not be his problem blah blah brotherhood blah! But you know, the injury got to him and since this is his first year not playing he is a little touchy about the whole thing. Luckily, the last several months we have been busy with a certain project that is starting to come to fruition, so he is excited about that."

"You still won't tell me what you and Drew have been planning."

"Well, we wanted to be sure and make sure things are on the right track. Now that they are, we are going to announce it at Christmas Dinner. So you don't have to wait too terribly long."

"I am excited to find out."

"So you are coming right? You and your family for sure?"

"Yeah, Em. Wouldn't miss it. Actually, I really think Nathan is going to come this year too. I told you how he gets during the holidays but I told him you had invited him and convinced him that it would be good for him."

"Oh, that's…great!"

"You hesitated."

"Oh honey, you know I want him to come. I want him to have a good time and I want him to get to know me and Drew better. I like him fine. It's just-"

"Does this have something to do with Brian and Eric moving to New York?"

"Oh! You…you know about that?"

"Why the hell wouldn't you tell me?"

"Now, before you get too pissy, I was under the impression that they weren't going to come until after the 31st at the absolute earliest but I guess they got a sublet at the beginning of December and moved in a few days ago. I thought I had some time to break the news and you haven't seen each other for so long, I didn't see why I would need to tell you immediately."

"Emmett, I saw him yesterday. I had lunch with him. And Eric and Lily."

"You what?!"

"I ran into him on the street. Lily asked if I was coming to meet Eric for lunch too and Brian asked if I was hungry and I was curious so I went. That is how I found out."

"What are the odds? Well, now that you know, I should probably tell you that I invited them for dinner. They usually go up to Toronto but they just moved here so Mel, Lindsay, and the kids are coming to them and staying in a hotel and since JR is coming, Michael and Ben are coming, Hunter is flying in from Los Angeles to be here too, and then Cynthia is coming in too, and-

"Cynthia?" Justin questioned.

"Yeah, why wouldn't she? She's technically Lily's mother." Emmett said offhandedly.

"Oh. That's news to me, but go on."

"Well anyway, it felt rude to not invite all of them when we have the space and we have all been friends for years. The more the merrier! So I suggested to them all that they come here for Christmas a couple of weeks ago. So it will be you, Nathan, Drew's grandparents, Drewsie himself, me, your mother, your sister, and Tucker, like originally planned. We are just throwing in eleven other people, including your ex! It really isn't that big of a deal! And since you already had lunch with Brian and won't be so shocked that he lives in the area now and Nathan knows by now as well, you can both be better prepared to see him. Right? Justin? Are you still there?"

"Yeah. I may not have mentioned running into Brian to Nathan yesterday." Justin confessed.

"Oh, honey…honey, that's not good. You need to let him know."

"I know that now! It just didn't seem to be a big deal at the time, at least not a big deal to tell him right away, and it didn't even occur to me that I would see them again so soon until you called! Maybe I can tell him that they will be there but not mention anything about lunch yesterday."

"And nicely ask Brian, Eric, and Lily to go along with it? Brian and Eric would maybe keep their mouths shut but you can NOT ask a three year old to pretend like she doesn't know you."

"Shit. You're right."

"And don't you THINK about backing out, Taylor! I have already bought enough food to feed twenty people and then some. Do not take a quarter of my attending guests away now."

"I will call him in a bit. It'll be fine. I will just grovel a lot."

"You better. Now, the real reason that I called is that I needed to ask you about how many guests are approximately going to be in attendance at _your_ party so I know how many hors d'oeuvres to make."

"Probably anywhere from sixty-seventy people. I will pay you extra to cover for more than that though, to stay on the safe side.

"Oh sweetie, please. You are a close friend. Don't worry about it. It'll be exciting to have an artsy New Year's Eve party. Giving all those struggling artists some extra cash to ring in the New Year. I think it's wonderful."

"We are all excited about it. Sorry to cut you short, but I better get off the phone. I need to work on this painting and do a few errands as well."

"And call Nathan. Today, Justin."

"I know. I will."

"Alright, all I can really say is good luck!"

"Thanks, Em. Talk to you later."

Justin hung up the phone and looked at his screen. He should probably call him now. But maybe it would be better to wait. He had a rough night so he might have fallen back asleep. But then again, it is better that he know before he calls to tell Justin if he is definitely coming or not. If he doesn't then it might be fine, but if he does and Justin only brings it up then…

"Just fucking call him now, you coward." Justin mumbled to himself as he pressed Nathan's name and put the phone up to his ear.

The phone rang three times. Nathan picked up and sounded alert.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Hey. You miss me already? I bet you just barely got home."

"Yep, that's it."

"Well, I miss you too."

"Also I just wanted to call and see if you had thought more about Christmas dinner."

"I don't know, Justin. I might feel weird. I've only met your mom twice and I'm a lot younger than Emmett and Drew. I guess I could talk to your sister and stuff but I don't really know any of them."

"Yeah. I understand. I don't want to pressure you into anything."

"That's good. But why are you all cool with me not coming now when you were really wanting me to this morning?" Nathan asked, sounding a little suspicious.

"I do want you to come!" Okay, Justin knew he sounded too defensive there.

"Seriously, what is up with you?"

Just fucking tell him.

Justin took a deep breath and began to speak.

"There are going to be a few more people there than I originally thought."

"Like whom?"

"Well, Drew's grandparents, I guess."

"Makes sense if they're his grandparents."

"Right. And some friends from Pittsburgh. Lindsay and Melanie. You met Lindsay once when she came in for my show, remember? Michael and Ben. Michael is the one I drew Rage with. All of the kids. Gus, JR, well Hunter really isn't a kid anymore."

"Gus, Gus…That is Lindsay's son, right? The one she had with Brian?"

"Yeah. And speaking of Brian…"

There is a pause where neither of them speak. Nathan breaks the silence and says,

"So Brian's coming?"

"Yes. With his partner and daughter."

"Hmmm. All these people are flying out from Chicago and Toronto to have dinner in Hoboken?"

"Not from Chicago."

"That's where you told me Brian lived."

"Kinnetik has been doing really well lately and apparently he bought a floor in a building on Madison Ave and he moved here just a few days ago."

"Uh huh. And you just found this out?"

"_Yes_. Well, sort of. I found out yesterday afternoon."

"You saw me yesterday. And today. Why wouldn't you bring it up?"

Justin sighed and just came out and said it.

"Because I ran into him and his daughter yesterday and had lunch with them. And Brian's partner. It wasn't planned or anything, they just invited me to tag along. I didn't know how to bring it up."

"You could have brought it up by saying, 'Hey, I ran into my ex and had lunch with him.' It isn't that hard."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You were acting so weird and quiet yesterday. I knew something had to have happened."

"It was nothing, Nathan. It was just a shock to see him after all these years. Most of the time I was with him he was practically a functioning alcoholic, drug user, and fucked everything that moved. It was weird seeing him settled down with a small family. I am sorry I didn't tell you. It just put a lot on my mind."

"And you felt like you couldn't unload and share that with me at all?"

"I'm telling you now."

Nathan let out a sigh. He was about to point out that the only reason Justin was telling him was because he might potentially meet Brian now. Nathan didn't know that much about Brian, to be honest. He always thought he may never completely live up to Justin's first lover though. Acting all jealous wouldn't help now. Don't get him wrong, he felt jealousy. He also felt betrayal because Justin hadn't told him yesterday, even when Nathan had asked what was wrong. But that wasn't the way to go about this. He had to be rational.

"So fine. He's coming to Christmas dinner with his family. If that is the only thing you need to warn me about, then that's nothing. I'm coming."

"You-you're coming to dinner?"

"Yeah, I'm still invited, aren't I?"

"Well, yeah. I just don't want you to feel weird. Because you were afraid you would feel uncomfortable before but now-"

"It's no big deal. According to you, a lot of people will be there. I am sure I can find someone to chat with. If no one my age, then there is always Drew's grandma. Just tell Emmett I'm coming."

"Alright, if you're sure…"

"I'm sure, Justin. You said you went back to your loft to paint, right? I should let you get to that then."

"Yeah. Are you sure we're okay?"

Nathan sighed, then answered, "Yes, Justin. It just surprised me a bit and okay, I'll admit, that I am a little annoyed that you didn't say anything **yesterday**, but I am sure that I will enjoy myself at dinner. We're good. Now go be the genius that I know that you are. Love you."

"…You too."

Justin heard Nathan hang up and he took the phone down away from his ear.

He didn't know how he felt about this.


	8. Chapter 8: Henry and Pierrepont

Chapter 8: Henry & Pierrepont

"Brian, I really love it. I love it so much."

Brian looked around the townhouse. He had to give his partner props for finding it because it really was beautiful. Modern and sleek enough to appease him, but had a lot of creative individual touches that drew Eric in. As soon as Brian put Lily down onto the polished hardwood floor, she took off running and pointed out everything she liked. Granted, she had done that with every place that day (if Brian and Eric were lacking in anything, it was _not_ good taste.) However, this place seemed to renew her sense of energy, which had been winding down with the last two places they had seen in Dumbo. Brian actually really liked the last place they looked at. It was almost right on the water and had rooftop access. It was a townhouse, but its style reminded him a lot of his loft in Pittsburgh.

However, Eric hadn't been completely convinced and said, "Brian, I really like this place and it reminds me of Pittsburgh too, but you still have that loft. It is a great loft and we stay there frequently when we go back for business. I love it and I know that it means a lot to you sentimentally, don't get me wrong. But don't you want something just a tiny bit different this time? Can we please look at the next place, just to see? I know it is a bit more expensive but we are both doing really well and can afford it plus I really loved the pictures we looked at. If you still like this place a lot better we can make the call as soon as we step back out onto the street and we'll make an offer and-"

Brian had just laughed and kissed Eric on his temple. "Eric, I don't mind seeing the next place, you don't have to work so hard to try to convince me. I'm not going to live in a place unless you absolutely love it. Let's go back to the car before I get another parking ticket and we'll head over there." And that's what they did. It turns out that it was worth looking at the next house on the list, just to see how happy and in awe the potential new home made his partner look.

Brian always handled change in odd ways. Sometimes he welcomed it and sometimes he detested it. When he found something he loved, it was hard for him to let it go. He had lived in several different places in his life. His parents had moved him and his sister around to about five different cheap apartments in the Pittsburgh area that he could remember before his mother's father had passed away when Brian was thirteen and left his house to her. None of those places, not even the house, felt like a home. The closest before the loft was Debbie's but he always made sure that he remembered he was just a guest. When he moved into his loft in Pittsburgh, it represented so many things to him, most of those things brought on by change. It represented the new starts in his life. He was only 24 when he made the purchase. It had been the first confirmation of his success. It was confirmation that he had made it without his parents' financial or emotional support. It was confirmation that he didn't have to go back to live in a blue collar neighborhood like the one he grew up in and work a manual labor job like his father did. He didn't have to reside in a small studio shit hole barely surviving off of ramen like he did in the summers while he was in college and he had an unpaid internship by day and waited tables by night. When he bought the loft, it was proof that he had survived and that he had gotten farther than either of his parents had ever thought he would. It gave him the status of being a true stud, not just an exclusive young top in the back rooms.

But what started making the loft really special to him were the many memories that he had with Justin. It was where he had first taken Justin when he met him under the streetlight. It was the first and only place he had lived in with Justin. It was where Justin had recovered from the bashing. It was the first place where he had ever made love and not just fucked. It is where Justin told him how proud he was of him for giving up everything to stop Stockwell. It was where Justin had taken care of him when he had cancer. It was the first place he had slept with Justin and the last place as well. It was the place where he had welcomed him into his life and the place where he had ultimately kicked him out of it. The only thing it hadn't been was the place where Justin had said yes to his proposal. And, as great a memory as that was, it was a proposal that had led to nowhere and what use did one man have for a country manor? As hard as it was, he was able to let that place go because it never represented a home to him, only what could have been but shouldn't be dwelled on. The loft had ended up representing the five wonderful and tumultuous years he had spent with the first person he had ever loved and deep down would always love. He could never let go of it.

The loft had memories of Eric as well, although not as many since they had only actively lived there together for about a year before moving to a bigger place only a few blocks away. And then they had only lived in that bigger place for a few months before deciding it would be best to rent it out until they sold it so Brian could work out of the Chicago branch instead. But it had been the loft where Eric had been compassionate and understanding when Brian had slipped up and where Brian had taken a turn for the better. It had been where they had agreed to have a child together. It was there where Eric inexplicably had Billie Holiday playing while he worked on a design for a client and Brian had even more inexplicably made him stand up and slow dance with him to "I'll Be Seeing You." It had been almost as ridiculously romantic as another dance he had initiated years before.

However, most of his favorite memories with Eric and Lily were up in Chicago, a city which held another home that he would never let go of. He had so many memories with his lover in that windy city. It was where they had watched their daughter grow into the precocious, outgoing, and happy little girl she is today. It was where he had held Eric for about half an hour while he cried after his parents had come up from North Carolina to finally meet their granddaughter only to completely dismiss Brian's place in her life and express their extreme disappointment in their son. He remembers wanting to stake his claim on Eric and Lily right then and there and throw his partner's parents out of his apartment. He remembers finally getting them to leave and slamming the door in their faces, then rushing over to Eric when he saw his face crumple. He remembers Eric sobbing out reassuring words, in order to make sure Brian knew that he was, "the most wonderful father any little girl could ask for" even though Eric was the one who had been crying. It was also in Chicago where he and Eric had danced around like idiots and sang along to Disney songs with Lily to make her giggle and the term "Stepford" had only passed through Brian's head four times tops. It was there where he had shared a great amount of happiness with Eric and Lily and built a home with them. This place that already held so many memories was also the place Eric had proposed to him surrounded by boxes packed up for New York and Brian hadn't thought of saying anything other than yes. He had been glad Eric had asked since Brian himself didn't think he could ever bring himself to ask that question to anyone else ever again, even if he really wanted to.

Brian had mostly hidden it, but it had been so hard to leave that loft on Tremont Street and almost just as hard to leave their Chicago apartment on Clark Street. But at least this time he didn't feel like he was leaving anything behind when he left Chicago since Eric and Lily were still with him. He knew that no matter where they lived, no matter how much or how little it cost, they would make new memories together. He knew that their home in New York would mean just as much as the two that meant so much before it.

"Brian? What do you think?"

Brian looked at Eric and his mouth turned upwards into a small smile.

"It's perfect."

Eric grinned, then took Brian's face in his hands and kissed him square on the mouth. They followed Lily around the rooms while she showed them which room HAD to be hers. After leading her away from the master bedroom, she picked another room with a bay window with a cushioned seat built against the wall and a built-in book shelf. She was so excited and he could tell that Eric was just as excited about this place as well. Brian couldn't say no. He went downstairs to put a bid in with the realtor. He had easily been approved for a loan to cover more than the five million dollar asking price (Christ, buying a nice sized place in the city was expensive.) After he had bargained with her and she had called the owners, they finally agreed that 4.5 million would be acceptable. They thanked the realtor and told her to have a good holiday. Brian took Lily's hand and the three of them walked out of the house that was now approved to become their home by the first of February. As they walked down the street to become acquainted with their soon-to-be neighborhood, Eric reached out and grabbed his free hand. Brian was happy.


	9. Chapter 9: East End and LaGuardia Rd

Chapter 9: East End and LaGuardia Rd

Justin got off the shuttle bus that went to LaGuardia and waited near his sister's gate. She knew her way around the city enough by now to get to his loft on her own. But he was feeling a bit anxious to see her. She had just turned 24 at the end of August and was about a year older than Nathan, but their age gap had kept them from having a close relationship as kids. They didn't start to get to really know each other until the summer after her second year of college. She had gotten an internship at the New York Hall of Science Museum and all of them, even his father from what he had heard, had been proud. She had responded to a Craig's List ad and had gotten a sublet in Harlem in order to have an easy commute and save money. Craig had offered to rent a studio that she could have to herself, but she had distanced herself from their father since their parents had divorced. Yes, she hadn't been close to Justin when all that shit went down, but she had been old enough to stay disgusted with her father for disowning his own son. She probably should have taken him up on the offer though because, unfortunately, the woman she had moved in with was absolutely psychotic. She had paid for May when she moved in at the beginning of that month and gave the woman her money for June with her month's notice. She became so wary of her that she packed her bags in the middle of the night only after two weeks of living there, had taken the subway down to his apartment at the time in Park Slope, then knocked on his door at 2 am and asked Justin if she could stay with him for the remainder of her almost four month stay. He had let her in and she tossed everything in the corner and proclaimed that she would never use a website named after her father again.

Justin remembers that summer being a rather celibate one. Yet he also remembers it as the summer when he had finally gotten to know his younger sister. He learned how fucking brilliant she was, for one thing. They were a bit more on the same level now that they were both adults too, so they had more to talk about. Justin had always felt pretty confident in his looks and he knew that he easily attracted both men and women, but Molly was drop dead gorgeous. He had developed late case of overprotective older brother syndrome during her stay since she had attracted catcallers from left and right and he had neighbors asking him if his sister was single. He remembers being so worried that he signed her up for self-defense classes and she had just laughed at him and told him not to waste his money. Although, he had put his muscle memory to use from when he was in the Pink Posse and he made sure she knew how to throw a punch and knock someone's feet out from under them if the need may arise. He may have also given her pepper spray. Despite being a bit too nervous, Molly had taken it all in stride and, when Justin was free from work and wasn't staying over with someone and Molly wasn't at her internship, researching, or going out with people her own age, they would see plays, go to museums, go out to eat, cook, watch movies, and just talk. If someone had told his younger self that Molly would become one of his closest friends, he probably wouldn't believe them, but that is what had happened. He talked to her at least once a week and had just seen her at Thanksgiving, but he was missing her.

A flight attendant announced that Molly's flight was arriving and soon after the passengers started to come through the door, down the ramp, and to the baggage carousel. He saw the loose strawberry blonde curls in the crowd. He called out her name and she turned around with a big smile on her face. She ran over and gave him a big hug. When he tried to let go, she whispered,

"Justin! Don't let go yet! I had to sit by that guy over there the whole trip up here and he is a creep! Those forty-five minutes felt like a lifetime. Maybe he will think you are my boyfriend and feel bad."

"Don't be disgusting." he had said to her as he slowly pulled himself away.

Justin looked over to who she was talking about and, yeah, he was pretty gross. Justin winced in sympathy and grabbed her bag so they could leave.

"Thanks for paying for my ticket. Flights two days before Christmas are a bit too much for a teacher's salary, even when said tickets are paid for two months in advance. I will pay you back soon."

"Don't worry about it, because you know I won't take it. I am glad to do it."

"I know, and thanks. Even though I will just hide money under your pillow next time I'm here."

Justin snorted and raised his hand up to get one of the passing cabs.

"The bus would be cheaper, Jester."

"I rarely take cabs and, like we established, money isn't a problem anyway, _Mollusk_. Besides, it will be faster. We have to meet Mom and Tucker at Penn Station in a few hours anyway. I want you to get settled first."

Usually it was easy to get a cab at the airport but with so many flights coming in for Christmas, he was having a harder time.

"Should I flash some leg?"

"Molly, you're wearing jeans."

"I just have to roll one of my pants' legs up. It would work, trust me."

Luckily it hadn't come to that because one pulled over for them soon after. He got her bag into the trunk and they piled in.

Molly had talked about how her month had been and what she had been up to. She seemed to have something on her mind though and Justin planned to question her about it as soon as they got back. The ride took longer than normal since they got stuck in traffic on the Queensboro Bridge, but they got home with about two hours to spare before they needed to get on the train to meet their mother.

Molly got the air mattress out of the closet and turned on the automatic pump to blow it up so the noise wouldn't bother the neighbors later. After, she sat on the couch, turned on the TV, and got quiet.

"You seem off."

Molly stared at him, then blinked. "Why do you stay that?"

"I can't pinpoint it, you just do."

Molly sighed, then blurted out,

"I think I am going through a quarter-life crisis."

Justin raised an eyebrow and motioned for her to go on.

"I am aware that I got really lucky when it came to getting my job. If Janice Barker hadn't dropped dead from an aneurysm while grading pop quizzes the second week of school, I probably would have been a substitute for at least another year or two before finding a full-time job. What were the odds that she would teach my subject? Her demise was my gain, and for that, I am grateful."

"How have I never realized how demented you are?"

"I will come off as more sympathetic in a minute, I promise."

Justin waited for her to continue.

"I like kids. I do. I like every single one of my students and I enjoy doing what I do enough. I recognize that it is an important job and that in one way or another, I have the ability to shape the lives of these kids. But I don't think I can explain why mixing baking soda and vinegar together does what it does one more time. It is so simple and boring. I was afraid this would happen. The thought almost made me go into teaching middle school and high school students instead. But Justin, teenagers are such fucking shitheads. I should know. My brother moved in with his older lover when he was 17 and I dyed my hair turquoise and let my friend pierce my belly button with a hot sewing needle at an even younger age than that. They drive people crazy."

Justin remembered when his mother called him in such a state when that had happened. From what he could make out of his mother's stressful call, his 16 year old sister had walked through the front door in a cutoff shirt, blue hair, and smelled like marijuana. He had felt a strange combination horrified and amused. He also felt guilty about being so distant from her. He is sure a rebellious punk rock Molly would have been interesting to witness.

"I don't think I want to be a teacher. I don't think I ever did really. I want to help find the cures to diseases. I got my bachelor's degree to start doing that but then went into something I turned out not to be passionate about. Why did I do that?"

"Molly, I'm sorry you feel that way. But you don't have to freak out about it. You are 24. You are still really young and you can still go get your doctorate. You are my sister and obviously that makes you really fucking smart. I wouldn't be surprised if you found a vaccine for Ebola or a cure for some type of cancer."

"Tucker will be upset. He thinks that I wanted to follow in his footsteps."

"Tucker's not so bad. He won't be offended. And if he is, remind him that he is not the one who has to live your life."

"Dad will be upset. He worried that I might try to aim too high and fail if I went to grad school to study medicine. He would have never said that about you if were in my place."

"If I were a _straight son_ in your place. Dad's a prick, I don't know what else I can say."

Molly was silent then looked at Justin.

"He's been asking about you lately, you know. When I bother to pick up the phone."

That revealation had perked Justin's interest.

"What has he been asking? If I still like co-"

"No, I think he has given up on you ever not liking _that_. He called last week to check up on me. Then he asked me if I knew how you were doing and if you were happy. He sounded sad. And drunk."

"What did you tell him?"

"That you were a big success and if he wanted to know any more then he would have to get in contact with you himself. I don't talk to him much, but he's been weird. He's living alone since Madison left him. He asked me to come spend Christmas with him. If he hadn't pulled what he did with you, I would have felt sorry for him."

"Molly, you don't have to keep him out of your life because he kicked me out of his. I've told you that. I do know that he always loved you."

"I don't want any man in my life who would do what he did to his son. The only way that I would even consider making up with him is if he at least attempted to make up with you."

There was no point in arguing with her. It was something Molly had always felt, even when back when they had barely seen or spoken to each other.

"So, big brother, how have you been? Any exciting news?"

"Well, we are having the New Year's Eve Showing at the gallery."

"Yeah, no shit. I will still be in until January 2nd, as if you didn't remember. Go on."

"Nathan wrote a jingle for Arm & Hammer. He's getting a good paycheck for it."

"I'm sure it's lovely. Anything else?"

"Brian Kinney is going to be at Emmett's for Christmas dinner."

...

He really wishes Molly would pick her jaw up off the floor.

"Hot Brian?"

"What?"

"I always referred to him as Hot Brian to mom. I think it made her uncomfortable."

"Then yes, 'Hot Brian' is coming to dinner. And yes, before you fucking ask, he is still hot."

"Good thing Nathan isn't into Christmas."

"He's coming too."

Molly put a hand on his shoulder and put on her most sympathetic face. When Justin looked at her, she couldn't hold it anymore and broke into a fit of laughter.

"It is going to be so awkward for you! ...I'm sorry it isn't funny. Nathan knows, right?"

"Yeah, I told him. He took it better than I expected."

"Well, that's good. Don't get me wrong, I like him. But he is the type to go into drama queen mode over little things, let alone something like this. He is just _so _different from you, Justin."

Justin sighed. His sister and his mother both liked Nathan as a person. Hell, when Molly came, she and Nathan would go bar hopping without him if Justin didn't feel like going or had something else planned. But she and his mom always threw out hints implying that they didn't see how Nathan and Justin had ended up together in the first place, let alone understand how it could be that they were approaching being together for two years this coming February.

"So you've said. But Brian is coming with his partner and his daughter so it will be less awkward."

"For Nathan, maybe."

"Eric and Lily are both very nice."

"Obviously I am missing some of the story. And you are going to tell me it tonight. But what time do we need to meet mom?"

Justin looked at the clock. "We should probably leave now."

After he and Molly got their coats on, they headed out the door.

"Look at you two! You have both grown, I'm sure of it!"

"Mom, we have both been grown for a while."

"Oh, my babies…"

Ever since Jennifer and Tucker had moved up to Connecticut about two and a half years ago to be closer to her parents, she had felt conflicted about it. She didn't regret it, by any means. Her father had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and, while her mother was still very active and capable at the age of 76, she didn't want her facing the challenge of her husband's slow mental deterioration. But she missed her kids. She was actually physically closer to Justin now, but she was still a couple of hours away and only saw him once every other month or so. Molly had only been a little over an hour away when Jennifer was in Pittsburgh, since Molly just lived in Morgantown. But now her youngest was so far away and she only got to see her for holidays. She missed them so much.

"Hey, mom? Why don't we get your bags to your room and go get dinner? Come on, the hotel is only a block away."

Justin took her suitcase and shook hands with Tucker. They got to the hotel and checked in then came back downstairs to join her kids again.

Tucker turned to Justin and asked, "What did you have in mind for dinner?"

"There's an Indian place about seven blocks down that is really good. If you want, we can go there."

They decided to walk and he was glad that his mother directed his attention to Molly for the most part on the way there. He knew he needed tell his mother that Brian would be at Emmett's. She started out despising Brian and surprisingly ended up loving the man. She had been almost as heartbroken as he was when they had broken up for good. He knew it couldn't be a surprise to her though. It wouldn't upset him if his mother reacted positively upon seeing Brian again, but he didn't want any surprises getting her too excited about it in front of Nathan. That would just be an extra blow to his current boyfriend and he wanted to make Christmas as easy as he could for him. He wanted it to be easy for both of them.


	10. Chapter 10: Mercer and Prince

"Lily. Lily, wake up!"

Lily felt a hand on her shoulder nudging her awake. She slowly opened her eyes and rubbed her face only to see her daddy sitting on her bed holding a camera. He was so strange sometimes.

"Daddy, what?"

"I think someone broke into the apartment."

"Huh?"

"When I went to bed last night, everything looked normal. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, the tree was lit, the presents Papa and I got you, your brother, and JR were under it too. But NOW there are presents everywhere and I just don't know who left them. We should call the police so they can investigate and take the presents to the station."

"No no no no no! Daddy, no! Santa came, it was Santa! Santa came here and left the presents for us! And we DON'T have a chimney, silly!"

Wide awake now at her daddy's horrible detective skills, she got up and jumped on the bed a few times to get out some of her excitement, then jumped down to the floor and ran for the living room with her dad on her heels. She saw her papa coming out of the kitchen with two cups of coffee, but she couldn't waste time saying more than a quick "Hi, Papa!" to him right now. She had to get to the living room. When she _finally_ did get there, she squealed and danced around when she saw everything.

"Now, Lily! Make sure you read the names on the tags. Some of those are probably for JR and Gus. Remember when I taught you how to spell and write your name?" her papa asked her as she ran over to the Anna and Elsa dolls.

"Yes, yes L-I-L-Y _Lily."_ She recited, then looked over at daddy. "Daddy, can you open Elsa?"

Daddy sighed as he turned off the camera and said, "I'll try. Those twist ties are a real bi-…_pain_ though."

"Okay, daddy. You try your best and ask Papa if you need help, okay?"

"Yes, _dear_, be sure to help poor little me with this god awful packaging."

Her papa laughed at that and went over to sit next to Daddy on the couch. He put Daddy's mug of coffee on the coffee table, then turned to her.

"Lily, why don't we see what's in your stocking?"

"Okay!"

* * *

><p>Eric turned to Brian and smirked then shook his head.<p>

"You really had to get her up at 6:45 in the morning?"

"Someone broke into the house, Eric. She had to know. Besides, I was _bored_."

"Just admit it. You are a little bit into the Christmas spirit this year and you know it."

Brian leaned closer and said in a low sensual voice, "_Bah…humbug_" then pulled mistletoe out of the couch and held it over their heads.

"Did you seriously stash mistletoe in the couch like you used to with condoms? Brian, you are so weird." Eric gasped out as he laughed but was shut up by Brian's lips against his.

"Daddy, Papa, _stop_." Lily told them as she colored in her new coloring book. She had been pouting a little since they told her she had to wait until the rest of her family came before they opened the wrapped presents. If Brian had let her sleep as long as possible, this wouldn't be happening.

"Who all is coming this morning?"

Brian started adding them up in his head.

"Gus, JR, Lindsay, Mel, Michael, Ben, Hunter, and Cynthia."

"Jesus, will they all fit in here?"

"We shall see. It will be like a game."

Eric smiled at that. "Well, you are in a playful mood this morning."

Brian shrugged and went over to Lily. "Hey Lily, how about I make you hot chocolate and then the three of us will play one of your new board games?"

"Can we play Candyland?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay!" Lily exclaimed as she ran over to the tree to get the game.

Eric came up behind Brian and held him around the waist.

"I love you like this, Brian. You are so good to our kid," he whispered in Brian's ear.

Brian looked down and gave a humble smile. He enjoyed being like this too.

* * *

><p>After Lily kicked their asses at Candyland three times in a row and they put on <em>Elf<em> for her to watch, they heard a knock at the door. Lily, who had been immersed in Buddy the Elf's antics, turned around really quickly and said,

"Gus, JR, and Aunt Cynthia?"

"It just might be. I'll go check."

Eric got up to look through the peephole then opened the door. Michael was in front of the crowd and exclaimed, "Merry Christmas!"

Lily ran over to greet them all. Daddy and Papa took Lily to Toronto for holidays and usually for at least a weekend every other month, sometimes more, and they would go to Pittsburgh to see Aunt Cynthia almost just as much. They came to see her too, especially Aunt Cynthia and Gus, but she missed them so much in between visits. She loved them all, but she REALLY loved Gus, JR, and Aunt Cynthia.

Gus, because he was her brother. He was always nice to her and would sometimes even play with her. But he hadn't been playing with her as much the last few times she saw him. He never liked playing dolls or dress up, but he had been ignoring her more. Daddy said it was because he was a teenager now and had a girlfriend. If she ever got friend like that, she wouldn't ignore people, but that was just her.

JR was almost 11 years old and not a teenager so she would play with her more, even though she wasn't her sister. She didn't understand that, because she was Gus's sister, so wouldn't that make JR her sister too? She felt like JR was her big sister though and she loved it when she got to come with Gus and stay with them. She liked Disney movies okay, but she liked sports a lot more than dolls, dress up, and playing pretend. That was okay though because JR had taught her how to throw a ball sort of right this past fall and it was sort of fun.

But she missed Aunt Cynthia the most. She loved Aunt Cynthia so much and wished that she lived a lot closer. She came to visit a lot though. She would take Lily out for ice cream and to the park. They would have what Aunt Cynthia would call girl's day out and they would go do things like go to kids' museums and go out to dinner. She would play with her and read her bedtime stories when she was in. She had even heard people say that she had Aunt Cynthia's eyes and she loved that people thought that because Aunt Cynthia was really pretty. She was so nice to her and told Lily that she was the most important person in her life.

"Hi, Uncle Michael!" Lily called out as she ran over to give him and Uncle Ben a hug.

"Hey, baby girl!" Uncle Ben told her.

"Uncle Ben! I'm not a baby girl anymore!"

"That's right, I'm sorry. I keep forgetting you are a big girl now."

"Yep! Where's Aunt Cynthia?"

"Hi, sweetie."

Lily turned and found her. She was carrying a suitcase and had a happy smile on her face. She kneeled down and Lily ran into her arms and held on as tight as she could. Aunt Cynthia picked her up and held on tight. Lily didn't want to be let down, so Aunt Cynthia just talked to her while holding her.

"I see that Santa came to visit."

"Uh huh. He must have known Gus and JR would be coming 'cause he left them stuff too. Daddy came in and woke me up telling me someone broke into the house and left a bunch of stuff here. He was going to call the police and have them come get it! It's like he forgot it was Christmas!"

"Brian!" everyone said as they looked over towards the kitchen where Brian was making pancakes and more coffee.

"What? Everything I said was completely true."

Aunt Cynthia rolled her eyes and looked back at Lily.

"Well, I brought you some presents too. I even brought a present for Gus and JR."

"Did you fill up that suitcase up with presents?" Lily asked, eyes wide.

"You bet, you spoiled girl."

"I'm not spoiled! It's not my fault you bought me presents," Lily giggled.

"I suppose you're right. I just have to learn to ignore your cuteness."

Cynthia put Lily down and opened the suitcase so she could put the presents she brought under the tree. She put the suitcase in the corner of the room then turned around to watch Lily interact with JR while Gus went in to hug his dad and talk to him. She knows that she spent too much on Lily. She knows she spoils that little girl, but she can't help it. She really missed Lily after their visits ended. Even though she had told Brian and Eric that they didn't need to tell Lily her biological role in Lily's life until she was older, Lily was her daughter. No, she hadn't carried her for nine months, but she felt such a strong bond with her that she hadn't expected. She wanted her to have the things she never could have even hoped to have when she was a child. She knew Brian and Eric were more than capable when it came to loving her and making sure she wanted for nothing, but she wanted to contribute in any way she could.

Cynthia had grown up poor. Her father had left the family while her mother was pregnant with her so it had just been Cynthia, her mother, and her sister, who had been five years older. Her mother had worked her ass off to provide for them. She had worked as a maid at a motel in the mornings and worked as a bartender at night. Her sister often had to watch her and put her to bed once their mother went to work if they didn't get a babysitter. But they had made it work. Cynthia didn't remember feeling like she was lacking anything until she was six years old and her sister had been diagnosed with leukemia. Despite getting financial assistance for treatments and her sister going through chemotherapy, they had lost her a year after the diagnosis. Losing her oldest daughter had driven her mother into a downward spiral. She never got over it. She drank almost non-stop and had emotionally distanced herself from Cynthia. She was never abusive. She never hit her or was mean to her. She had just ignored her. Sometimes she would tell Cynthia how sorry she was and that she loved her as she tried to pick herself up off the floor.

Cynthia thinks her mother understood her behavior enough to encourage Cynthia to go out of state and away from her for college. She had even signed a loan form for a parent plus loan but Cynthia knew she could never afford it so she sent the payments in herself. She would send the money to her mother, but she was afraid of what her mother might spend it on. When she started working for Brian full-time and was doing well for herself, she got her mother into a better place and made sure her bills were paid for, but never sent her more than grocery money. Her mother couldn't go to more than a couple of AA meetings without falling off the wagon and still had problems dealing with her daughter's death, even after thirty years. Cynthia obviously handled it better, but she still missed her sister and wondered what it would have been like to grow up with her. Right before Lily was born and Brian and Eric asked her what her first name should be, she immediately said the first name of the sister she had lost as a child.

Cynthia never regretted her decision to not carry Lily and give her parental rights to Brian. She had always respected Brian. He was only six years older than her, but he had been a mentor and a heroic figure in her life ever since she had met him. He had taken her on part-time at Ryder when she was a junior at La Roche College, even though he had been told to look for a full-time assistant. Cynthia remembers asking him if he was sure if that was okay and he had said that he didn't need a full-time assistant after all and it was for the best to keep himself working more. He had said he wanted to start her at $12 an hour since he remembered how a low-paying part time job really fucked his finances when he was in school. He didn't want her to have to work her ass off at two jobs when she had classes to focus on. She remembers almost bursting into tears at his surprising kindness and making him incredibly uncomfortable as she tried to keep her eyes from leaking. He had taken her on full-time the day after she graduated. She has been so grateful for what he had done for her and has even loved Brian for all the time she has known him. The fact that he was with Eric who had strangely and coincidentally been her first boyfriend made her even more keen to say yes to being the mother of their child. Even though it turned out that Eric came out as gay years later, he had been incredibly kind to her and non-judgmental when it came to her financial class and mother, despite coming from an upper-middle class, two parent home. But she probably would have agreed to do it if Brian had been with Justin still and he wanted him to have a biological child with her.

She had never planned to be a mother. After watching her mother suffer the way she did and seeing how it had devastated her to lose a child, she told herself she would never have kids. She had never been around young children for long periods of time, so she didn't feel much for them anyway. She wanted to be a career woman. She would go to school, make decent money, and maybe get a cat. All that had happened. She graduated with honors, she now ran the Pittsburgh branch of Kinnetik with Ted and was making more money than she ever dreamed of, and she came home to her Maine Coon, Jasper. She hadn't expected Lily to come into her life but, like she never regretted giving Brian her rights, she never regretted forming a bond with her. She loved her so much and she was so glad she was being raised by two people who loved her dearly as well. The only thing she kind of regretted was that she had been the one to insist that Lily call her aunt instead of mom.

"Come on, Aunt Cynthia. I wanna show you what I got so far." Lily commanded as she pulled on Cynthia's hand. Cynthia followed her daughter. She pulled her skirt down and sat on her knees to look at what Lily had to show her. Brian and Eric had done pretty well when it came to indulging Lily's girly girl tastes. From what she could see, Santa had brought Lily some new dolls, a few costume dresses, and a little purse. They had also gotten gender neutral gifts, like a small bike with training wheels, a couple of board games, and several coloring books. She is pretty sure Brian had secretly wanted her to be at least a little bit of a tomboy. He had tried to get her to broaden her horizons a little. However, the most he could get her to do was to get her to wear a helmet when she rode her tricycle instead of a tiara. But the helmet Lily had picked was purple and had glittery stars on it, so Cynthia didn't think that was a huge win on the tomboy front.

"Look at what I colored for you, Aunt Cynthia! I colored it just for you!" Lily proclaimed proudly as she handed her a sheet out of her coloring book. She was getting coordinated enough to color somewhat in the lines now.

"Lily, it's beautiful. I will put it on my refrigerator. How does that sound?"

"Good. Then when you go into the kitchen and get something to eat, you can think of me and how much I love you."

Lily got up and ran into the kitchen to see Gus. Cynthia took Lily's artwork and carefully put it into the pocket of the suitcase she brought with her.

* * *

><p>Brian sat down with everyone and they did their gift exchange. They had each gotten the other adults in the room something and had all gotten probably way too much on the kids. They had fun watching the kids get excited over their gifts. Gus and JR didn't believe in Santa anymore, but they still got presents from him since they were both kids and to keep the illusion up for Lily as well. They also got the kids presents that were from them too. They had gotten JR a new softball mitt, a camera, some money, and some new clothes. Brian sort of went all out on Gus. He and Eric had gotten him a new gaming system, the new iPhone, some books, a leather jacket, a few movies he had been wanting, and a gift card for the mall up in Toronto so he could buy some things for himself.<p>

He had also bought Gus condoms, although he wasn't that much of a jerk to put those under the tree. Lindsay had called him up a few days ago asking him to have "the talk" with Gus. They thought it would be better that he get it from his father, rather than either of his mothers. Both Mel and Linds had been a little worried that he might be an early bloomer like his father. The thing was, despite Gus being a dead ringer for him and having a bit of his sarcastic aloofness going on, he wasn't all that much like him. For one, he was pretty sure the kid was as straight as an arrow. Sure they say no one is completely one way or another, but Gus had always had crushes on girls and practically had hearts in his eyes when he talked about Penelope, his girlfriend. He was also a lot more innocent than Brian ever was. He didn't jump right into things like sex, but even if he did, he would much rather hear that Gus had slept with Penelope than hear he got taken advantage of by his gym teacher in the locker room. Brian had tried to make that story into something hot, but he would be devastated and enraged if that happened to either one of his kids. So he said he would talk with him before they left after the New Year. If Gus did end up having sex, he wanted him to be safe and not be afraid to talk about it with him if something happened.

The kids had opened all their presents, at least until they got to Emmett and Drew's house in Hoboken. In the past, Emmett tended to splurge on Lily when it came to birthdays and Christmas. Even if Emmett didn't make it to Toronto where they usually gathered for a special occasion, Lily always had a package waiting for her when they got back to Chicago. Brian and Emmett always had a strange friendship. They never had much in common and pushed each other's buttons in the past, but he did appreciate Emmett accepting Eric into the group immediately with open arms and without questions or skepticism. He appreciated Emmett's neutral feelings when it came to him ending his relationship with Justin and not taking one side or the other. When Brian learned to open up a little more, he even told Emmett how much he had appreciated his actions back then, which of course led Emmett to become a touchy and teary mess. After Lily was born and she became old enough to make it known what her tastes were when it came to toys and clothes, Brian had sort of been lost when it came to buying stuff for her. Emmett was probably too ecstatic to help him out when it came to mentoring Brian when it came to buying clothes and gifts for her and showing him what stores and activities they could do that would indulge that side of her as well. So he knew that they would be lugging home at least a few things for Lily and probably sending some stuff up from Emmett back to Toronto for Gus and JR too.

Everyone was pretty tired after the Christmas morning high. Lily had passed out on top of the torn up wrapping paper, Gus was lounging next to her texting on his new phone, JR was sitting next to Hunter with her head on his shoulder, and the adults were sitting there quietly. Since there were eleven of them and the apartment was a temporary place that Brian and Eric had only really prepared for three people, not all of them got chairs. But they made it work and enjoyed each other's company. However, they all avoided the topic of Justin. Everyone, including Brian and Eric, knew he and Nathan were going to Emmett's today and no one really knew how to bring up the subject. It had been so long since they had witnessed Brian and Justin in the same room and, even though they heard Justin went to lunch with Brian, Eric, and Lily and it went well, they couldn't really anticipate how this was going to go.

"It's a little after 11 now. We are probably going to head back to the hotel to get the gifts back to the room and maybe see some of the city. What time should we meet you to catch the train?" Michael asked as he started picking up some wrapping paper around the tree.

Eric got on his phone to look at the holiday schedule.

"When does Emmett want us there? Around 4, right? The PATH for Hoboken leaves every 20-30 minutes from 33rd Street. There is a train that is supposed to leave at 3:15. Let's meet above ground at the entrance by 3 so we can go together. If we get there early, we can just walk around the park in front of Emmett's place for a little bit so you guys can enjoy the view.

"That sounds good to us," Ben said as he stood up.

"Hey JR, do you want to come with us or stay with your moms and we'll just see you there?"

JR shrugged and said she supposed she would go with them then put on her coat and boots. Michael and Ben asked Gus if he wanted to tag along too but he wanted to stay with his dad for the day. Mel and Lindsay decided to head back to the hotel and rest a little before going to Emmett's. Cynthia headed out the door soon after, but not before she carried Lily to her bed. Soon, it was just Eric, Brian, and Gus in the room. Gus put on one of his movies and they all sat down and watched it together.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure we don't need to bring anything? Like a casserole or something?"<p>

As Justin straightened Nathan's tie, he shook his head.

"We are bringing an expensive bottle of wine and that should be enough. Believe me, Emmett has it covered. He bought all this food that he is dying to make and bringing over any more would just be downright gluttonous. We will all go in and help him, of course. Dinner won't be ready until at least 6. It'll be a good time to visit with everyone else too."

"Like Brian?"

Justin grimaced. "And everyone else. I'm looking forward to seeing Gus. I got to keep in touch with him even after Brian and I ended things because I stayed in touch with Lindsay and Mel. But I haven't seen him since August when Lindsay took him to Philadelphia for my show. I have only gotten a couple of emails from him since then.

Nathan sighed. "I'm glad you kept in touch with him. I know you told me you knew him since the night he was born. I would never hold that against you. I'm happy he is still in your life. Don't mind me, I'm just a little jealous I guess. And curious. How did you keep in contact with Gus and your friends but not run into Brian until now?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I spent the holidays with my mother and sister, so I didn't really run into him then. I'm pretty sure he straight up avoided me when he was still in Pittsburgh and I would go back to visit everyone. I guess we never were in Toronto at the same time. Or maybe Debbie gave him a heads up. Running into each other strangely never happened until we were both in the most crowded and anonymous city in the world."

"Are you comfortable having dinner with him being there?"

"I guess it will be okay. I don't think he hates me or anything. He's moved on. I will be cordial with him. There will be a lot of people there anyway so if it gets too uncomfortable, we can always talk to someone else."

"I guess. You inviting him to the art show?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Well you called pretty much everyone coming, besides Drew's grandparents, to invite them since they will be in town. Someone might bring up how they are all looking forward to it. It might be awkward if you leave just Brian and Eric off the guest list."

Justin is absolutely flabbergasted at what comes out of Nathan's mouth sometimes. For the last three days, he would act completely okay with meeting Brian one minute and interrogate Justin on Kinney 101 the next. Nathan seemed to be both threatened and drawn to Brian. He did give Brian props on going to prom to sweep Justin off his feet and the whole Stockwell saga. He also admired Brian for paying for Justin's education and encouraging his art career. But at the same time it seemed as though Nathan felt that he couldn't compete with someone like that, even though Brian wasn't in the competition when it came to Justin anymore. So Justin did find it surprising that Nathan would suggest inviting him to the show.

"I-I don't know, Nathan. It is probably the polite thing to do. I could maybe do that?"

Luckily, Molly walked out of the bathroom at that point and raised her eyebrow at the tension.

"So, what are we talking about?"

"Nothing, Mol-"

"Justin and I were just talking about how it would be polite to invite Brian and his partner to his art show."

"Oh. Well, that would be an interesting idea."

"I thought so too."

"Nathan, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong, Justin. I just made a suggestion."

"You are acting ridiculous!"

"Because I suggested you invite someone to your gallery? You are being so defensive and delusional."

"I'm going to take a walk around the block," Molly muttered as she put her coat on and walked out the door.

After the door closed behind her, Nathan and Justin just stared at each other.

"I was seriously just making a suggestion, Justin. I am trying to be supportive. I am not trying to fuck with you by giving you some test to pass."

"Okay. I'm sorry. I really am. I will admit that this is weird for me. I know I am being too defensive about it."

Nathan walked over to Justin and gently grabbed him by the tie.

"You may be the first person I ever loved in my life, but I understand the situation enough. Brian was your first. He had a huge part of your life, things ended badly and abruptly, and suddenly he is back in your life after several years. Part of you will always love him. I get it. I have interrogated you enough the last few days to try to understand the guy. I have been a bit petulant with the way I have been acting, and I'm sorry for that. I really do want to be supportive and I was trying to show that by suggesting you invite him to your show."

Nathan bent down a little to kiss him on the mouth, then turned around to look in the full-length mirror.

"So Taylor, how do I look? Dashing? Ridiculous?"

Justin turned him back around and looked at Nathan from head to toe.

"Beautiful."

"Really?"

The exchange started to give Justin severe déjà vu so he kissed Nathan with all the passion he could muster. Things started to heat up and Justin was just about to undo Nathan's tie again but Nathan stopped him by giving him a gentle push on the shoulder.

"Molly left because we were arguing. I don't want her walking in on our hot makeup sex. Besides, your mom will be here in about twenty minutes." Nathan looked down at their crotches and saw they were already both a little hard. "Damn. Help me think of something disgusting."

"A woman getting pieces of skin out of her teeth?"

"Please, that is so four days ago."

"An elderly woman mastur-"

"_Stop_. I don't want you to finish that sentence."

They hear a knock on the door and both turn their heads towards the sound. Molly raises her voice with a, "I'm coming in now because it is fucking cold outside and you both better be dressed!" and used her key to get in.

She looked at both of them to inspect how much she had cock blocked. Not being able to truly tell but having an instinctual feeling that she did in fact cock block her older brother, she felt satisfied and went to lounge on the couch.

"I wish mom and Tucker would get here already. You both are making things so awkward."

Justin just looked at her. Molly was never one to bite her tongue.

"So, brother of mine, have they texted saying they were on their way yet?"

"Yeah. They texted while you were in the bathroom."

"Good. Because I am starving. All I had was cereal."

"We are still exchanging gifts here with mom. Dinner probably won't be ready until 6 at least. You might want to snack on something else."

As Molly became quite content with the package of cinnamon Pop-Tarts she was holding, they heard the buzzer ring. Justin saw from the camera that it was his mother and Tucker so he let them up. Nathan instantly became straight laced and stiff as his mother walked through the door and Justin rolled his eyes. Nathan wasn't the type to become easily nervous around just one person, but Jennifer Taylor was an exception to that rule. He wanted her to like him. The thing was, his mother did like Nathan. She felt protective of him since he lost his parents so young and didn't have any family to speak of. Justin hadn't told her all of the details, but she had witnessed him have a minor flashback one of the few times she had met him and her heart had ached for him. She just had made it known to Justin that she thought they were an odd match for each other. He never would tell Nathan that though. He didn't want to put that on him.

"Hi, sweetie! Merry Christmas." His mother told him as she walked through the door and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She walked over to Molly and Nathan to do the same.

They sat down to exchange gifts. Along with painting them artwork and having it sent back to their respective homes, he had also written Molly a check as well as his mother and Tucker an even larger one. They didn't want to accept it but he refused to take it back. He had also gotten Molly a New York Pass with tickets for museums and free meals at restaurants that were good for a year. He got his mother a membership at a spa up in Connecticut and Tucker sweater that he had bought on Madison Ave because in all honesty he didn't know what else to get Tucker. Nathan had bought Molly a book by Stephen Hawking and his mother a nice bracelet. Nathan had asked Justin what Tucker would even want and Justin had been almost as clueless as he was but told Nathan he didn't have to worry about it. Nathan decided to get him a gift card from Amazon, so Tucker could just get himself something he wanted.

His mother and Tucker had gotten him a gift card to his favorite art supplies store plus some clothes his mother thought he would like. They gave Nathan _Just Kids_ by Patti Smith and a new jacket. Molly had given Nathan original records she found at an independent music store and Justin two tickets to one of the shows Off-Broadway he kept saying he wanted to see but hadn't yet. And of course, his mother showered her youngest with necklaces, new dresses, and a new petticoat. They killed time with conversation and before they knew it, it was 3 pm. Justin started to feel nervous as he got ready to go. He kept telling himself it would be alright, but he felt as though he were in for a long and eventful night.


	11. Chapter 11: 11th and Maxwell Lane

11th and Maxwell Lane

Justin leads the way out of the PATH Station in Hoboken. He thought he was okay with this. In a way he is. Lunch went fine just a few days before and that was a more intimate setting where Justin didn't even have any allies. Brian may not even talk to him tonight. There will be plenty of people in his life there that are much more important to Brian than Justin is now. There are people who Justin is excited to see and even though those people are also friends with Brian, it will be fine. Even though Nathan is coming along and that means he and Brian will be in the same room, it will still be fine.

"Justin!"

"What?"

"Sweetheart, I have been trying to get your attention."

"Sorry. Just thinking."

Molly scoffs at that and Nathan stays silent. Justin doesn't think Tucker knows the potential awkwardness of the situation.

"I was just asking you how many people are going to be there."

"I don't know, Mom. Twenty?"

"That's a nice turnout. I really am looking forward to seeing Brian." His mother gives a quick glance over at Nathan. "Because it has been so long and I grew fond of him. I saw him every so often while he was in Pittsburgh. I even asked him to lunch once."

"You i_what/i_?"

"It was a friendly gesture, Justin. Just to catch up. It was nice. I haven't seen or heard from him since he moved though."

Justin looks at Molly to see if she knows anything about this but she is looking away from him and twirling her hair and Nathan has an expression on his face that Justin won't even try to begin to read.

"It wasn't a big deal. I don't know why I am bringing it up. I wish Debbie was coming in. We only get to see each other when she gets to come in and stay at Emmett's to see one of your shows in the city. I talk to her usually at least once a month, but I hadn't asked what her plans were. Is she feeling alright? Michael and his family are coming in."

"She's fine, Mom. She and Carl are spending Christmas with his daughter and her family this year. They live in Utah."

"That should be nice. I am disappointed that I won't see her though. I miss her. She has been a good friend."

"I'm sure you will find someone to talk to."

Justin stops his guests and shows them where Emmett's townhouse is. They cross the street at the park and walk up the stoop steps. Justin takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. Milliseconds later, he hears deep barks and nails against polished wooden floors.

"Stella! Hey Stella! Get back, sweetheart! Be a good girl!"

Emmett opens the door with an extremely welcoming grin, one that only Emmett can pull off without coming off as too enthusiastic.

"Merry Christmas, everyone! I am so glad you could make it to my little feast. Come in, come in! Stella, sweetheart, sit! This is Stella. Justin has had the pleasure of meeting her, of course, but she loves meeting new people. She is quite friendly. Let me take your coats and you can go into the parlor and get yourselves comfortable."

"Emmett, are you going to let us get a word in edgewise?"

Emmett realizes that he is babbling and stops to look at Justin. Justin smiles at him and gives him a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Emmett."

"Oh, yes! It is a wonderful Christmas. It would be perfect if Teddy and Debbie could've made it but so many of the people who I truly love are here…" Emmett starts to trail off and get misty eyed, "Oh, don't mind me! The holidays bring out the true queen in me."

With that, Emmett walks down the hall and leaves them in the foyer.

"Is he always like that? He seemed a bit more…icalm/i when I met him." Nathan whispers to him, slightly nervous.

"He does seem a bit more Emmetty than usual, I will give you that," Justin mutters back.

His mother looks at Stella oddly, then turns to Justin.

"When you mentioned Emmett had a dog, I didn't imagine he would have…"

"A Bull Mastiff? I don't think Emmett imagined it either. I am pretty sure he compromised with Drew and let him pick the breed while Emmett got to pick a name from _A Streetcar Named Desire_."

"Well, that would explain it."

"She is a sweetheart though," Justin tells them as he scratches Stella behind the ears, "Aren't you, Stella?"

Just as Justin finishes petting Stella, Emmett reappears with a, "I thought you all were behind me! Justin, you know your way around. Everyone is in the parlor."

_"iFuck/i," _Justin thinks to himself. He told himself he was going to be fine. He will be fine. That is such bullshit, this is so weird. He had to be around Eric and Brian as a couple for an hour and a half tops. Emmett expects them to stay here for several hours. He is going to have to mingle with them. Nathan is here and he will be expected to introduce him to Brian. He is so fucked.

"Look who's here, everyone!"

As Justin turned the corner, he was greeted faces he hadn't seen in the same room in years. Those faces held the most mixed emotions Justin had probably ever witnessed, as they greeted him all too enthusiastically while sneaking not so subtle glances in Brian's direction. And then from all the way across the room, there was Brian himself, who completely poker-faced. Eric gave Justin a kind smile and a nod, then looked back over to his partner with a sympathetic glance and a pat on the leg. Brian broke eye contact with Justin and gave Eric a reassuring look to let him know that he was alright. Just as Justin was about to greet the group, a fourteen year old boy about his height was suddenly in front of him.

"Hey, Justin."

Jesus, Gus was growing. He already had an inch on him and Justin was sure he would get as tall as his dad. He was looking so much like him, it was insane.

"Hey, Gus."

Suddenly, Gus is hugging him and Justin hugs him back without hesitation. Over Gus's shoulder, he can see Brian looking down at his feet and Eric pointedly ignoring the exchange as well. Everyone else in the room including Lily, who looks curious over the exchange, stays silent until Justin breaks the embrace.

"You've grown since the last time I saw you. At least four inches since August."

"Just about. I've missed you."

"You too, buddy."

Gus walks across the room to stand next to his dad. He gives Brian a questioning look and Brian just pats him on the shoulder, letting him know that it's all good. Just as Michael and Ben go over to Justin to greet him and Justin is about to introduce Nathan to the people he hasn't met, he sees Brian walk over to his mother.

They are a little too far for Justin to make out what they are saying to each other, but his mother looks happy and emotional and reaches up to hug Brian around his neck. Lily, who has a hold of Brian's leg, gets lifted up by him and introduced to Jennifer. While he can't really hear what Brian and his mom are saying, he can hear Lily's animated voice talking about what she got for Christmas.

"Hi, I'm Nathan. It's really nice to meet you."

Justin turns his head and sees that Nathan has taken it upon himself to introduce himself to Ben and Michael since Justin seems to have forgotten to do it. He really wishes he had horse blinders right now because he can't even focus on one common task for more than five seconds before wondering what his mother and Brian are talking about, now joined by Molly. Brian does a double take when he sees her and he is pretty sure he hasn't seen Molly since their rehearsal dinner.

"Justin?"

_God damn it._

"Hey, sorry. You never got to meet Nathan, did you?"

Michael smiles at him, sort of confused. "We just did."

"Yeah, of course."

There is a bout of uncomfortable silence, then Ben speaks to Nathan.

"So Nathan, I heard that you were a musician."

"Um, yeah. I'm in a band. We do okay, but we aren't well known or anything."

"Nathan also writes music for television."

"That's really cool! What shows have you written for?"

"Mostly shows filmed locally. I get some pilots here and there. Some shows get picked up and get longer run times than others. I mainly get commercial work."

Michael's eyes light up at that. "Oh, Brian is in advertising. Are you contracted by a certain agency that we may have heard of?"

"No. I mean, I have a talent agent, but I get hired as a freelance musician by different companies he sends my resume and work samples to. Usually they are short-term or open contracts."

"I don't know much about it, to be honest. I think Brian-"

Justin decides to cut in to change the subject. "Hey, Michael? Did I ever tell you that Nathan did the music for _Squirrel Girl_ last year?"

Nathan goes red at that. Justin sort of feels bad, but Nathan doesn't know how many points that will score with Michael.

"You did the music for _Squirrel Girl_? You wrote the theme song too?" Michael says, with admiration in his voice.

"Uh, yeah. But it got canceled after ten episodes, so it isn't that big of a deal."

Michael puts a hand on Nathan's shoulder. "Don't ever say that! I really think that _Squirrel Girl_ never got the chance it deserved. Despite being a really obscure character in the Marvel Universe and only making a limited number of appearances, she was always really kick-ass. I was over the moon when they announced they were making animated series that revolved around her. It was a really great addition to the Saturday morning cartoon line-up. JR loved it and I have a few of the issues that feature her at my shop in Toronto. And, just for the record, the score was awesome. The theme song, how did it go?" And then, probably to Nathan's horror, Michael began to sing.

_"Who's that nut with a tail on her butt?_

_It's Squirrel Girl, Squirrel Girl! _

_Watch out for her sidekick or you'll get cut-"_

Alright, Justin feels more than sort of bad now. He knows how many times Nathan had to rewrite that song to make it appeal to the targeted eight year old audience. He also knows how much he hated the version that the show runners loved the most.

"Hey, Michael? I'm going to introduce Nathan to everyone else."

"Okay, Justin. But come talk to me later. I have to speak to you about something important."

Justin raises a questioning eyebrow but says nothing else as he leads Nathan away from Michael and Ben. Nathan looks around to see if anyone heard Michael's rendition of _Squirrel Girl_, but they all seem to be engaged in conversations of their own. Justin will introduce Nathan to Brian. He i_will/i_. But there are other people who haven't met Nathan yet. Hunter hasn't. Mel-no Mel met him briefly at one of Justin's shows last year. The kids met him with Lindsay. So only Hunter, Brian, Eric, and Lily. And Drew's grandparents and Cynthia. But Justin hasn't even met Drew's grandparents so why would they care? They are just sitting on the loveseat nodding along and pretending like they can hear what is being said to them anyway. It would probably be weird to introduce Nathan to Cynthia before introducing him to Brian. Seriously, where are Emmett and Drew? Do they expect Stella to be the hostess? It doesn't matter. He can do this. Brian didn't have a problem introducing him to Eric, so why should this be any different? He will just make his way across the room to introduce Nathan and Hunter is closer, so it just makes sense.

Justin approaches Hunter, who is standing a few feet away from him and talking to Mel and Lindsay. He can work his courage up this way. Hunter sees him and greets him with an eloquent, "Sup, man?"

"Hey, Hunter. How have you been?"

"Good, good. L.A. has been awesome."

"Yeah, I enjoyed my time there a lot. You are a production assistant on _Teen Wolf,_ right?"

"Yeah, man. I really like it. I dig the show too, surprisingly. Sort of has the style of a modern Buffy, but with a little bit of Japanese influences going on. Actually, I am getting promoted to a camera operator position for next season."

"That's great, Hunter!"

"Yes, we were all telling Hunter how proud we were of him," Lindsay says.

"He worked so hard to get where he wanted to be," Melanie adds.

"I still have some steps before I become a cinematographer though. Don't blow too much smoke up my ass."

"Hunter, I don't think you have met my boyfriend, Nathan. He works in television sometimes too."

"Hey, I'm Hunter. I heard you were a musician. That's cool. I don't have much of an ear myself. The guys that do the music on the show that I work for really enjoy their jobs though."

"Yeah, it can be fun if you get work on a decent show."

"Yeah, tell me about it. One of my first PA jobs was for Shit My Dad Says."

"I don't think I ever watched it."

"You weren't missing out, believe me."

Hunter and Nathan kept talking and were actually hitting it off. He hoped that Hunter could be someone Nathan could have a conversation with in case the night did end up taking a strange turn. He didn't want to break up their conversation, so he decided to back off and do his own thing for a few minutes.

He was going to go find Emmett and see if he needed any help, but he ended up running right into Eric.

"Oh I'm sorry, Justin! I didn't pay attention to where I was going."

Justin noticed that Eric spilled his drink on himself. He felt bad and tried to apologize, but Eric insisted that it was just water and that it was no big deal.

"How has your day been, Eric?"

"Pretty exhausting, actually. Christmas is fun and rewarding with a kid, but when your daughter is on the go all the time, it can be demanding. On top of all that, Brian woke her up earlier than usual because he was "bored." I actually have his camera on me because I wanted to show Emmett when I went to help him in the kitchen just now. Want to see?"

"Oh, I uh-"

Before Justin could say much else, the proud dad pulled out a camera, found the video in question, and pressed play. As Justin watched the video, he felt like he had no idea who this man was anymore. He understood that people changed. He understood that it took some people longer to grow up than others. But this wasn't the Brian he knew. Brian wouldn't film his kid waking up at Christmas just to capture the look of pure joy and excitement that occurred. He probably wouldn't be caught nearly buying out an entire Disney store either, going by the presents in the video.

Then again, that wasn't completely true. Even with this pod person, he could still find the Brian who he had private moments with that were calm and playful. Brian did always try to work at making his friends happy and helping them out with the problems in their lives, even if he covered up why he did it later. He always showed a different side to himself around his son, even though he tried to emotionally distance himself for a while after he signed over his rights. This Brian may not hide his genuine happiness like he used to, but even before this Brian came into fruition Justin remembers seeing the open and unguarded expressions in the early mornings after they settled down from a night out and laid in bed together. He remembers genuine excitement about the wedding, before he began to think he was holding Justin back. This Brian was probably always there, lurking beneath the surface due to being stifled by his upbringing, his anger, his dominant masculinity, and his overall reluctance to expose that side of him because any negativity thrown his way would hurt so much worse. Justin saw the changes. They were changes he had wanted almost the whole time he was with him until they actually started to occur. He remembers being scared that it was Brian putting on a front just to make him happy. He loved Brian both ways, but he couldn't be a man who was okay with his partner changing almost everything he originally stood for just to make him happy. He had good reason to think that because it was such a change from the Brian everyone else knew. But fronts don't last for over seven years, do they?

"Are you becoming one of those annoying parents who force everyone they see to look at pictures of your child?" a familiar and annoyed voice calls out as the video on the camera finishes.

"You are the one who filmed the oh so magical moment." Eric teases back as he shuts the camera off.

As Justin looks up, he sees that Brian is no longer talking to his mother. He had taken it upon himself to introduce himself to Nathan in the corner of the room by the wet bar. Brian walks away from Nathan, leaving him with a pale look of uneasiness on his face, and over to Eric to get his camera back. Eric half-heartedly tries to play keep away with it, but Brian gets it back and stashes it in his pocket. He finally looks in Justin's direction and acknowledges him.

"Justin, pleasure seeing you here." Brian then grabs Eric by the hand and pulls him away. Justin hears him asking Michael to keep an eye on Lily, and then Brian and Eric are out of the room and up the stairs.

Well, that was a change from a few days ago.

Justin needs a drink. Because even though Brian hasn't been a part of his life for several years now, he is still versed just enough in Kinney to read his odd moods. That wasn't only lust for his partner. That was an attempt to make Justin jealous, maybe even hurt him. In some small way, it is almost a relief to see him indulge his petty side. In a slightly bigger way, Brian's method sort of worked when it came to the desired effect. But it is more familiar to the Brian he first met. It is almost reassuring to know that Brian is still technically Brian.

Justin makes his way over to the bar to mix himself a drink and Nathan is still there staring at Justin with lingering betrayal in his eyes.

"You shouldn't have left me alone, Justin." Nathan tells him, his voice low enough so only Justin would hear.

Justin sighs and replies, "I left you with Hunter. You were having a good conversation. Honestly, I was just going to go see if Emmett needed help in the kitchen but I ran into Eric and he showed me a video of Lily."

"Well, while you were watching home videos, your ex-fiance took me to the side so he could interrogate me."

"What? No, he didn't."

"He did. I thought it was going to be fine. He seemed a little high and mighty when he introduced himself, but okay enough. But then he kept asking questions about us and then just about me. I'm pretty sure he was judging everything that came out of my mouth. He did seem a little pissed that you're dating a guy who got hired by one of his competitors to write the Arm & Hammer jingle though. So that was nice."

"Was he a total asshole to you?"

"Well...no. He was just...I don't know, invasive and a little rude."

"Look, just count your blessings. Because he can be a real asshole when he feels like it. He is charismatic and really intimidating. He can be brash and really frank when it comes down to it. He can also be the most generous person in the world. But then he will just shut you out before you can blink…" Justin trails off at Nathan's suspicious expression. "Look, if he starts being an asshole to you I'll talk to him, alright?"

"You have barely said a word to him in years. How much of an effect can you have on the guy?"

Justin tries to answer that but he honestly can't. "Just ignore him then, okay? He hates that."

* * *

><p>"I don't...think...that Emmett...and Drew...would like us fucking in their guest...oh, fuck…" Eric moans out as Brian pounds into him from behind.<p>

"Needed to...fuck your tight...little...ass!" Brian enunciates through his hard rhythmic thrusts.

"Oh god, Brian harder! Fuck me harder!"

Brian obliges and works up a quicker and more punishing rhythm. He is feeling close, so he reaches around Eric's waist and starts to jerk his cock in time with his thrusts. As he feels Eric's cum coat his fingers, he lets go of his orgasm as well. He collapses on Eric's back due to the high and when he comes down from it, he gently pulls out of his partner and lays on the bed next to him.

Eric, still panting, says, "Don't get me wrong, I love spontaneous sex almost as much as you do, but where did that come from?"

Brian shrugs with the reply, "I was horny."

"It didn't have to do with wanting to get away from certain guests downstairs?"

"Nope."

"Okay, because you weren't dismissive with Justin or anything."

"I thought I was quite friendly."

"Of course you did."

Brian is silent and stares at the ceiling while Eric is on his side and staring at Brian.

"Brian, everything seemed fine this morning. You were actually in a really good mood, if I remember correctly. Hell, things even weren't so bad when we had lunch with Justin. But today, you left that Nathan kid looking as intimidated as one of your new interns and practically acted as though Justin wasn't there."

"Whatever."

As soon as Brian thinks the conversation might be over, Eric goes on to say, "Are you jealous or something?"

Brian can only sneer with a reply of "You know I don't do jealous."

"I know that's what you usually say. Apparently you also used to say that you didn't do love or relationships. You did that with Justin. And you did that with me."

When Brian says nothing, Eric continues.

"You have become more and more open with me these past few years. I know you have your days where you pull away, take a few steps back, and act like a fucking dick, but days those have been farther apart lately. So talk to me."

"It's nothing. I promise you, it's nothing. It was just me fucking with the new guy."

"And Justin?"

"I said it was nice to see him. Listen, can we just drop the subject?"

"But you seemed fine this morning. You were happy."

"I _am _happy."

"Well, you are being really sassy."

"Sassy, Eric? Really?"

"Brian, in all honesty, you are probably the sassiest stud I have ever met." Eric huffed as he got up and put his clothes back on, "Help me straighten up the bed."

"Flattening out the wrinkles in the comforter won't get your cum stain out of it."

"Damn it, we should have fucked in the bathroom."

"Too late now. Maybe after dinner."

After Brian gets his clothes back on, he walks around the bed and puts his arms around Eric's waist. He nibbles his ear and kisses down his neck and shoulder, only to try to sneak a hand down Eric's pants. Eric, reluctantly, swats his hand away.

"Stop. We are going downstairs. We have been up here for twenty minutes already."

"Dinner won't be ready for another hour."

"We are supposed to be spending time with our friends."

"They can wait."

"It's Christmas, Brian. Your kids are downstairs."

That gets Brian to give up for now. He turns Eric around to face him, puts his hands on Eric's cheeks, and kisses him. He ends the kiss but keeps Eric's face in his hands.

"I want to tell everyone tonight."

"Tell everyone?" Eric stops to think of what Brian is saying and his eyes light up in recognition. "You mean-"

"I want to announce that we're engaged."

"Brian, are you sure? I mean, Debbie isn't here and she is like a mother to you. Ted and Blake aren't here either and don't try to say that is doesn't matter, Kinney, I know you better than that."

Brian lets out an aggravated sigh.

"We have all lived in different cities for years, Eric. As disappointing as it may be, it might be a long time before we get this many people under the same roof with us again. It is a good of a time as any."

"This doesn't have anything to do with Justin being here, does it?"

"No. This has to do with telling the people who I consider my family that an important thing that has happened to me. I want them to know."

"Alright." Eric says right before he gives him another kiss. "If you're sure."

"I have never been more sure about anything."

As they head out into the hallway, the door opens from across the hall. Drew comes out and stands in the doorway. Behind him, the room is newly decorated with sky colored walls, a galaxy rug, a spaceship bed, and toy trucks and dinosaurs on top of the bookshelves. Drew clears his throat and looks to see if there are any more people close by.

"…Emmett wants to keep this quiet until dinner. I won't say anything if you won't."

After that, Drew heads back downstairs. Brian didn't believe him, but he didn't care. It wasn't like they were subtle when they snuck away. Eric nudges Brian and is grinning with excitement. Brian just shrugs and follows Drew.

* * *

><p>"Hello, Emmy Lou. Do you require my assistance?"<p>

Emmett turns his head to see Brian leaning on the counter next to him. He is pretty sure Brian is not serious about helping. But maybe he's wrong because Hunter, who literally just walked into the kitchen, is told to "kindly fuck off for ten minutes, will you?"

"I know you don't really want to help me with dinner, Brian."

"Good guess. I already had to cook breakfast. Helping you would be overdoing it."

Despite what Brian just said, he picks up a knife and starts cutting up an apple for the fruit salad.

"I also know you fucked Eric in one of the upstairs guest rooms."

"What a surprisingly accurate claim! Did you keep in touch with Mysterious Marilyn once you moved out of the Pitts?"

"Mysterious Marilyn, Drew Boyd. Where does one stop and the other begin?"

"It is a philosophical question that we all must think of at one point in our lives."

"And I know you know about the room across from the guest bedroom."

"I did catch a glimpse of it."

Silence.

Of course that is all Brian Kinney will give him.

"So, are you curious as to what is going on?"

"It is pretty self-explanatory, isn't it? You are having a kid. Adopting, specifically. A boy, age ranges from 2 to 5."

"Did _you_ keep in touch with Mysterious Marilyn?"

Brian just raises an eyebrow and smirks but keeps on cutting.

"I'm so scared, Brian."

"I know."

Emmett looks around and makes sure nobody is coming in. He goes over and closes the door to the kitchen for precaution and then goes over to check the casseroles and the ham in the oven.

"We were going to adopt a baby, you know. Get approved by an agency and an expecting mother. We waited for months and months and got close last year. I didn't want to tell any of you until it was an absolutely sure thing. Weird, right? Me, not getting overwhelmed with excitement and telling everyone as soon as we found out? I was just so scared that it would fall through. Turns out I was right. We got approved while the mother was already eight months along. I had one month to get excited and plan, but when she got here, the mother changed her mind. She fell hard for her daughter."

Brian just nods for him to continue and for some reason Emmett can't shut up.

"It is harder to get approved as a gay couple. A lot of expecting parents want a mother and a father to raise a baby. But Drew and I are really stable. We have a wonderful home. He has celebrity status. I know that eventually we could probably have a newborn if that is what we really want."

"But it isn't."

Emmett shook his head. "At the end of July, Drew started volunteering at an organization in the city where children in foster homes go to meet and play with other foster children in their age groups on the weekends. They have indoor and outdoor activities. They'll go to a park, sometimes to museums. It is a really good program. And you know that Drew is still a popular player and, of course, the kids went nuts for him. After two weekends of having so much fun, he easily convinced me that I should volunteer with him on the days I didn't have an early event to plan for a client. I mainly just got meals together and read to the younger kids, but I loved doing it too. It was there we met Duncan."

Emmett takes a deep breath.

"Duncan is only three but you may never meet another little boy who is more filled with life. He is so adorable. He had this perfect little round face, dark brown skin, chocolate colored eyes, the biggest smile, and the cutest dimples to top it off. He has been handed the shit end of the stick so many times in his short life, but he doesn't let that get to him. He is playful and likes to tumble around. He loves trucks, trains, rocket ships, and he likes to pretend he is a dinosaur. He loves football and Drew became his hero the first time he laid eyes on him. He is definitely one butch little boy."

"I had seen Duncan essentially acting as Drew's shadow and had read to him during story time. When Drew came to me two months ago and asked if I would consider adopting a three year old instead of a newborn, I knew he was talking about Duncan. But I didn't know Duncan like Drew did. So I made a point of trying to get to know him."

Emmett laughs a little at this point, because it is so strange that he is unloading this on Brian Kinney of all people.

"The agency that handles Duncan's case set it up so that Drew and I could go visit him in his foster home. They like to introduce a child to potential parents and have visits for at least a month or so to make sure everyone gets used to each other. His foster mother and father already had four other foster kids under their roof, two of them being younger than Duncan. It wasn't possible for them to adopt Duncan, especially since they were adopting the oldest child and her baby sister already. So they were happy someone was interested in adopting him."

"I knew right away Duncan and I will probably never have anything in common. But he is so sweet that I didn't really care. He laughed when I couldn't catch the football that Drewsie threw at me but it was a laugh that was in such good spirits that I was laughing along right with him. I started visiting him as much as I was allowed because I missed him so much on the days I didn't see him. We even went to spend Christmas Eve with him and give him and the rest of the kids he's living with some presents. And, even though I don't know anything about cars or trains or dinosaurs, he still wants to sit in my lap and fall asleep in my arms as I read a story to him and cries when I leave. He doesn't even move in until the first week of January and he has already become the most important person in my life."

Surprisingly, Brian is still there listening to all this and he clears his throat. "That tends to be how it works. It's scary. I get it. But things sound promising. What's the problem?"

Emmett sighs. He might as well say it if he has said this much already.

"It's just that…he's three. He is essentially just a baby who has been passed around to different foster homes for over a year. He is going to like anyone who shows him a little bit of love and attention, even if that person is completely different from him. What if-" Emmett breaks off and wipes his eyes, "What if this rough and tumble little boy grows into a young man who loves sports and cars and probably women and becomes so ashamed to have a dad like me?"

Emmett knows it is probably a hard fear for other people to grasp. He has always taken pride in who he is, so this vulnerability he has usually comes as a surprise. But he grew up with a father who was ashamed of him and brothers who absolutely hated him. They had known how different he was and were probably elated when Emmett ran away from Mississippi and never came back. He never felt masculine enough to father any child properly, let alone a son like Duncan. He hadn't even considered it until somewhat recently because of those feelings.

"Well, for what it's worth..."

Emmett prepares himself for one of Brian's insults that end up being encouraging. Or one of Brian's encouragements that end up being insulting.

"I think you'll be a great father."

He knew he would say someth-

Wait, what did he say?

"As long as you are good to him and try your best, he's going to love you. Yeah, kids are hard but at the same time they aren't. You don't have to change every interest you have just to appease them. As long as you are spending time with them and you are encouraging them, they will appreciate you. Besides, no father creates a child's dream room with everything his son likes for his own benefit. So don't worry about not being a good father just because you like to put on a feather boa once in a while."

Before Emmett can say anything, Brian continues.

"And hey, maybe you will rub off on each other. I mean, I knew shit about Disney Princesses and now look at me. I know all the words to every fucking song on that goddamn Frozen Soundtrack. I even have a playlist on my phone to have on hand in the car for Lily. By the way, I think your casserole is burning."

Ending on that note, Brian pats him on the shoulder and walks out of his kitchen.

* * *

><p>Brian goes back to join the rest of the guests and freezes when he sees Justin and Nathan with Eric and Lily. Justin is squatting down so he is eye level with Lily as he hands her a wrapped package from his messenger bag. Brian can already tell it is a framed picture before Lily gets the wrapping paper off. Brian walks over to get a look at it. Of course Justin painted a princess in a castle to give to his kid. And to top it all off, he threw in a unicorn. He can tell that it was something Justin did within the last couple of days. As if seeing The Lion King on Broadway twice and having that sunshiney smile didn't already make her like him.<p>

Upon seeing the painting he made for her, Lily, in her always subtle demeanor, takes in a giant breath of surprise and hugs her new present while she squeals and jumps up and down. Over and over.

"Thank you thank you thank you! This is one of the best presents in the whole world! I will keep it forever and ever and hang it on my wall and look at her and tell her goodnight before I go to sleep and say good morning to her when I wake up and name the unicorn Chico-"

Eric puts his hands on Lily's shoulders to keep her in place. "Lily, honey, I think he gets it."

"Chico?" Brian asks, amused.

"After JR's dead hamster, Daddy." his daughter informs him as she bows her head slightly, probably recalling the tragic loss.

"Justin, it's so nice of you to take the time to do this. She really does love stuff like this. You didn't have to." Eric tells Justin sincerely as Justin stands back up.

"I went out to buy Gus and JR presents when I found out they were coming and I didn't want her to feel left out. I figured you and Brian had gotten her plenty of toys so I just painted her something. I wish I would have had more time to make it look a bit nicer."

"If this is your work rushed, then I am sure the rest of your paintings are absolutely incredible."

Thank god Eric hadn't mentioned the painting of Justin's they did have. Brian doesn't think he could live that down.

"You know, a few of his paintings are going to be up for auction at the New Year's Eve exhibit at his gallery."

Justin turned his head to look at Nathan with a subtle expression that Brian intimately knew as, "Please shut the fuck up."

"I'm sure they will get high bids." Eric says.

"Justin, did you get around to asking Eric and Brian if they wanted to come?"

Brian didn't know Nathan nearly as well, so he couldn't read what exactly was going on with him. But he knew people in general enough to know that this inquiry probably stemmed from an earlier argument and he was just being petulant.

"Nathan, it's short notice. I'm sure they have plans."

"Everyone else here switched their plans around so they could come. I don't see what the big deal is in asking."

"Well, Brian's assistant offered to watch Lily since she has a daughter just a couple of years older and we had plans to go out-"

"But we can always go clubbing another time."

Eric looks at Brian in surprise. And then Brian, for only the second time that day, looks Justin directly in the eyes.

"We would love to come to your little party. If we are invited, of course. Nathan wants us to come. Do you not want us to come, _Justin_?"

Justin seems to be struggling for words, which Brian is sort of pleased about. However, he keeps eye contact with Brian and says,

"Of course you can come. 164 Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg. Take the L from Union Square."

"I'm sure it won't be too hard to find." Brian says as he wraps an arm around Eric's waist.

"Great, then I will see you there."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Brian considers saying "fine" again, so it is probably for the best that Michael steps in to try to break the tension.

"Oh wow! That's a really pretty painting, Lily!"

"Thank you, Justin painted it for me. It's so beautiful."

"It sure is. Speaking of art, can I talk to you for a second, Justin?"

* * *

><p>As Justin gets led away from Brian, Eric, Nathan, and Lily by Michael, he looks back one more time to find Brian staring back in his direction. Brian has one of those expressions on his face that makes him look like he is five seconds away from sticking his tongue out at him. Honestly, going by today, he wouldn't be surprised if he actually did. He doesn't know what he did today to deserve to a target for Brian's mood swings, but it isn't like this is the first time.<p>

He doesn't know where Michael is pulling him until he ends up in the bathroom. Justin looks around at his surroundings.

"So what did you need to talk to me about that required the presence of a toilet?"

"You know, you are all so fucking confusing."

"I'm sorry?"

"First, you and Brian break it off and don't speak for seven years. And then you both run into each other on the street and decide to have lunch together, which is whatever, that's your business. When I talked to Eric, he says that you all got along and that Brian, while he was a bit nervous, seemed to get through the meal okay too. We all thought that maybe we could all move past this and not have to censor what we say about one of you to the other. Especially mentioning what were up to in New York to Brian. We thought that we could start inviting you up to Toronto for the holidays instead of inviting you at odd times of the year. At the very least, we assumed everything would be fine for tonight but then Lindsay overheard Brian initiating a proverbial pissing contest with Nathan. But then Nathan goes ahead and invites Eric and Brian to your exhibit. I don't know Nathan, but he came off a little as the jealous type so I was a bit surprised by that. And then there's Eric, who has a patience that has to rival Ben's, but even he was getting a little aggravated with your exchange with Brian just now."

"Michael, what's your point? Brian going off and having proverbial pissing contests and Brian being an ass are nothing new."

"My point is that you both need to get over this shit and move on with your lives. Just put what you had behind you. You both have been avoiding each other but then you can't concentrate on anything once Brian moves into your line of vision and you're right, Brian has been acting like an asshole. And the thing is, he hasn't acted like one in a long time. At least not around Eric. He can still throw out the underhanded insults, but he has calmed down with it a lot over the years. Eric makes him so happy, Justin. I was under the impression that Nathan made you happy too but what happened out there, as minor as it may have been, did not make Nathan or Eric very happy at all.

"Is that all you wanted to talk to me about, Michael?"

"Come on, Justin, don't be upset."

Justin takes a deep breath and takes his palm away from his eyes.

"Michael, I'm not _upset._ I'm just frustrated that I am the one being lectured here. I am trying. I painted his daughter a picture. I have had a few conversations with Eric. And fuck, I don't want Eric to feel uncomfortable. Brian did a good job when it came to choosing him. He seems like a really great guy. And with Nathan, I know I made him feel uncomfortable by only giving him half my attention tonight. I feel bad about it. No doubt he will point it out once we leave. I would like to be friends with Brian again. I've missed him. But he has barely looked at me all night and probably just accepted Nathan's invitation to make him, or to make me, feel uncomfortable. Smug bastard."

Michael really looks at him at this point.

"Deep down, Brian will still be Brian, won't he? If he can't fuck the elephant in the room, then he will just avoid it. I didn't mean to upset you, Justin. But you and Brian haven't been exactly subtle today. I know he has been worse than you since he apparently grilled Nathan on everything from whether he was a bottom or a top, to if you paid for everything, and even on his birth year. I probably should have saved the lecture for him or not given one at all."

"No. No, I know that conversation back there took a weird turn that Nathan probably wasn't expecting. I'll apologize to him. Fuck, I was kind of looking forward to seeing Brian tonight because I thought I might get to know him again and have him in my life, even though I was nervous about introducing him to Nathan. Stupid of me, right?"

"No, Justin. It's not stupid."

"We better go back out."

"I actually do have something I need to talk to you about."

Justin gapes, "You mean that lighthearted conversation we just had didn't take care of that?"

"Nope. I got contacted by Red Giant Comics. They want to reprint the existing comics of Rage and reboot the series. With gay marriage legal in two-thirds of the U.S. and more allies than ever, they think that it could be a huge hit. They aren't wanting to buy the creative rights or anything. We would make a good percentage of what they make off of Rage in any media platform. They just want the rights to publish and produce what we come up with or give the okay on. They want the two original creators on board. We could work mostly from home on the comics and meet them occasionally for meetings on where to go next. I told them I had to talk to you."

"It sounds great, Michael. But I haven't done anything like that in years. And Rage…"

"I know. But will you just think about it? Please? I understand if you don't want to, but Ben and I could really use the money."

"Okay. I'll think on it."

"That's all I ask."

Justin and Michael head out of the bathroom and bump straight into Emmett.

"What were you both doing in there? Did you both make a pact to go to the bathroom together always and forever?"

Michael and Justin both just shook their heads no.

"Alright...Well, I was just going to get assistance from our other guests. I need help carrying everything out to the dining room."

Michael and Justin head to the kitchen and are floored by the amount of food Emmett has covering the counters. Emmett walks back in and they stare at him. "What?"

"There aren't THAT many of us, Emmett. You didn't have to overdo yourself like this."

"Well, _Michael_, maybe you wouldn't be surprised by how much food I was making if you had come in to help me once in a while like most of the others did."

"You lived with me! You know how useless I am in the kitchen!"

"Hmmm...That's true. I suppose I should thank you. You go ahead and grab the cranberries and Justin, you get the mac & cheese casserole."

The three of them carried dishes into the dining room and put them down where Emmett told them to. The table was already set, so they went back to get more food, but everyone else had already grabbed something so they just turned around and followed them. When all the food was down on the table, Justin went to stand next to Nathan and reached over to grab his hand. Nathan just pulled it away which sort of hurt. But then, to Justin's surprise, Nathan reached back over to take Justin's hand and pulled him over to two of the chairs set around the very large table. His mother sat next to him on his right and Tucker was next to her. Molly went to sit by Nathan and across from Hunter and soon everyone had figured out where to sit. Brian, Eric, and Cynthia were sitting on the other side of the table and to Justin's right and for some reason Emmett had a booster seat that Lily could sit in. To Justin's relief, they weren't close enough to really have an easy conversation with. When Emmett saw that everyone was sitting down before he cleared his throat to speak.

"I just would like to say a few things, being Miss Hostess of the evening and all. Oh, look at this. We never get to use this table. Drew, look how nice everyone looks sitting here! Now, I know it's not Thanksgiving, but I just wanted to say how grateful I am to see you all here. It means the world to me that you came out to spend Christmas in our home. Brian, Eric, Lily, I am so glad you have moved so close by. Don't let anyone tell you Jersey is too far away, because it's not and you can come out to visit any time."

"As all of you may have noticed, there are sealed envelopes on your plates. I haven't designed a dinner theater game, although that would be so much fun so let's keep that in mind for next year! It is just a small gift you to put on your fridge or in your albums. Go on, open them!"

Justin, like everyone else at the table, opens his envelope to find a picture of a small African-American boy with Emmett and Drew squatting beside him. The boy has his arms around their necks with a huge smile on his face and Emmett and Drew look just as happy. Everyone looks up, except for Brian, who keeps looking at the picture with a small smile. Lindsay ends up breaking the silence first.

"Emmett? Drew? ...Are you?"

"I gave you that because I want you all to have a picture of our son."

Everyone around the table gets so excited and emotional. Justin thinks he even sees a tear in Drew's eye. He glances over at Brian and sees that, while he looks happy enough, he doesn't look at all shocked. And of course, Emmett is almost bawling at this point. It doesn't take much to get him to cry, but Justin understands how emotional he must feel this time around.

"Okay guys, enough with the pats on the back and the tears. I am sorry to say you might not get to meet Duncan while you are all in because introductory period isn't up until January 3rd, so he won't move in until then. But the paperwork is through and everything is official. As soon as he gets settled in and used to the place, we will try to come up to Toronto to come visit."

"Debbie is going to go nuts when she finds out." Ben says to Emmett.

"I know, I am so excited to tell her. I already called Teddy and let him know this morning. But now that I have told you, let's not have the food get cold. Let's eat!"

All of the food that Emmett made is, as always, absolutely delectable. He really has outdone himself. Justin doesn't talk much to Brian and Eric. They mainly keep any conversation between them dealing with passing the food. Most of what they all talk about is Duncan, who Emmett and Drew are all too eager to talk about. Since Gus is sitting on the right side of Brian, Justin can have a conversation with him a little better. They talk a bit about how Gus is liking high school and of course Penelope, who Gus talks about as though she is the most wonderful person on the planet. He is glad that he was able to keep in touch with Gus, despite not being a part of Brian's life anymore. He loves that boy so much. He looks almost exactly like his dad. He is a teenager so of course he is going to have a bit of a mouth once in a while, but he is so innocent, curious, a bit more shy and sensitive than Brian, and doesn't hide his kindness by dismissing it as though it is for his own gain. He wonders how Brian feels about Gus's differences from him, but Justin can tell that every time that Brian speaks to Gus, he is very proud of his son.

After dessert, they are all helping Emmett clean up. They all gather in the kitchen to talk as they take turns washing the mountain of dishes that Emmett dirtied when he prepared the meal. Justin goes back to the table to get the table cloth so they can get it washed. He feels Brian's hand pulling him into the foyer before he knows that it's him.

"Wha-Brian, what are you doing?"

Justin ends up finding himself pushed against the door with Brian's body practically flush against his and dilated eyes staring down at him. Brian is silent for a few seconds, releases Justin's arms, and slowly backs away. Justin rubs his arm nervously as Brian keeps his eyes on him.

"Brian, did you need something?"

It takes Brian a few more seconds to speak, but when he does, his voice is barely above a whisper.

"I wanted to warn you, or give you some notice so you wouldn't be too surprised, about something."

"Brian, you have barely spoken to me all night or even looked in my direction. You acted like a dick to Nathan. What is so important to the point where you have to pull me away from everyone else and talk to me in a dark hallway?"

Brian's expression becomes indignant and guarded.

"Bullshit, like you acted so fucking perfect tonight. Avoiding introducing your boytoy to me until I just went over to talk to him myself. Bet that made him feel really special. I didn't hesitate inviting you to lunch to meet Eric."

"What- Brian, what the hell? You acted like this because I didn't introduce you to Nathan when we got here? Why does it matter so fucking much anyway?"

Brian shakes his head as if he's trying to clear it. "It doesn't. It doesn't matter at all. But I'm about to make an announcement and, since things between us are obviously still strained after all this time, I am giving you an out so you don't have to be in the room when I say it."

"What-"

"When I go back into that room and rejoin all of our friends, Eric and I are going to announce that we are getting married. I thought you should know in case you didn't want to see that."

With that, Brian leaves Justin in the hall and goes back to the kitchen.

Justin is not going to get upset about this. He has no right. Brian has been with Eric for over six years. As long as Brian took to come around to the idea of marriage, it eventually happened. He knows he has no right to get upset over him moving on to pursue that with someone else.

He can't move his feet though.

As much as he tries, he can't. He wants Brian to be happy, but seeing him after all these years have dug up long buried emotions. He knows that if he witnesses it, then any small dash of hope that persisted over the years will be extinguished.

He knows that it could be obvious that he isn't in the kitchen with everyone else. He knows, as he hears the muffled offers of heartfelt congratulations start to reach the hall, that Brian Kinney probably feels like he has won since Justin showed how bothered he really is by staying out here. He has to go back in. He has to show some level of support in some way. He can pretend he was in the bathroom or something and get the news from Nathan or Emmett. He has to ignore the heaviness in his heart and the fact that his eyes feel a little wet. As Justin takes that step, he feels his cell start vibrating in his pocket. He pulls out his phone and looks at the screen, but he doesn't recognize the number. He'll answer it anyway. It gives him another reason to put off reuniting with everyone else.

"Hello?"

_"…Jus'n? That you?"_

The words are slurred and the drunken voice takes a second to place, but as soon as he places it, he knows it so well. It was a voice that he knew every day of his life up to the point where it became hateful and disowning.

"Dad?"

_"Heyyy, son."_

Justin is silent. Brian Kinney pulling him into a hallway to tell him he was engaged is routine compared to what is happening right now. There is no way Justin could have anticipated this happening tonight. Or any night for that matter.

_"You there? Justin?"_

"Yeah."

_"It's…it's good to hear your voice. Deeper than what it used to be."_

"How did you get my number? Did Molly give it to you?"

_"No…no, she didn't give it to me."_

"Then how the fuck are you calling me?"

_"She visited me back 'n Oc…October. Left her phone on the counter when she went in the other room. I found it on her phone an' wrote it down."_

"What an honest thing to do."

_"I jus'…I wanted to call you and hear how you were doin'."_

"Like you care."

_"I do. I care now."_

"I don't give a shit. It's too late. Merry Christmas and don't call me again."

Just as Justin is about to take the phone away from his ear, he hears a whimpering sob on the end of the line.

_"Justin…Justin, please…."_

"What? What do you want?"

_"I'm so sorry…I'm so fucking sorry."_

Justin leans against the wall with the phone pressed to his ear, his heart beating quickly in his chest. He stays silent as he listens to his dad cry, something he doesn't think he has ever heard in his entire life. And even though he still hates the bastard, it still fucking hurts to hear him this way. He wishes it didn't. He wishes he could hear this and feel nothing.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

It takes his dad a minute to control his breathing and compose himself enough for the quiet sobs to die down. He lets out a few shaky breaths, then finally speaks.

_"I-I just wanted to hear you. I missed hearing you. I missed so much. I'll leave you alone now."_

"Dad…Dad, you aren't going to do anything stupid, are you?"

_"No. No, I'm just going to head to bed early. I'm sorry, Justin."_

Justin is about to suggest he drink some water and eat something before he goes to bed, but he hears a click on the line. And if Justin couldn't move before, he definitely can't move now.

At some point, he hears a door swing open and the lights come on above him. He can see Nathan with an annoyed look on his face in his peripheral vision.

"Justin, seriously, what the hell? You've been gone for almost half an hour! What…hey, what's wrong?"

Suddenly, Justin finds himself sobbing with deep gasping breaths and feels tears spilling from his eyes. Nathan doesn't even know what happened, but even if he does think it is about what Brian announced on the other side of the house, he can't ignore Justin like this.

Justin sees Nathan step in front of him and feels his arms pull him against his chest. Justin all but collapses face first into Nathan's chest as his sobs hit him full force. He clutches onto Nathan and just fucking bawls like a baby.

"Hey, hey shhh…it's alright. I've got you. It's okay, Justin. Tell me what's wrong? You are scaring me so much right now. Shhh, it's gonna be okay. Whatever is going on, it's going to be alright."


	12. AN: PLEASE READ

I have decided to discontinue this story on this website. I am still doing it on Archive of Our Own and on Midnight Whispers. Since this website won't let me post links, just let me know if you can't find it on either site and I can send it to you. However, it should come up if you search "Intersect" "Annie-Eliza" or Intersect Brian Justin. I am not a fan of the formatting on this site and I think it hinders the way my story is presented and on top of all that, I have only received two reviews on here while I have received much more on the other two websites. I don't know if the QAF community is very active on here, but I don't think there is much of a point to keep continuing this story on this page. Thank you to the two of you that did review and thank you to those who are following the story. But it is a hassle to get it on this website. Chapter 12 is now up on the websites stated above and Chapter 13 will be up soon. If for some reason you don't have access to either of those websites, please private message me and I can send it to you if you want it.

Thanks for reading!

Annie-Eliza


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